RSVPing Responsibly

You'll likely be getting and/or sending an invitation or two in the next few weeks, and below are some reminders for RSVPing respectfully and responsibly.  And, while RSVP may mean "repondez s'il vous plait" here, it means that plus: 

R - Respond minimally 5 days prior to the event, and absolutely by the RSVP requested deadling 

S - Say "yes" or "no", and no "maybe" or "I'll try", or "I might stop by" 

V - Volunteer to assist with something, and if you are the guest, volunteer to clean up  

P - Plan to be at the event on time (not too early or really late), and stay minimally an hour

For what reason?  For the following reasons:

R - People who plan events buy food, place seats and so much more.  Last minute changes make for last minute changes for the host, and the host has enough to do!
S - Being a maybe or a non-responder warrants being a "no" to me, and yet some others are not as steadfast.  Being a maybe is self-focused, and can appear as though you were just waiting for a "better offer".  Make a decision and stick with it. You are not doing anyone a favor by being at their party, so decide what is best for you, make no excuses or add any grandeur, and simply do what you say you are going to do.
V - It's formal etiquette, yes, and yet, it's just the right thing to do.  Offer to participate before, and mean it.  If that is not requested, then act on the clean up immediately on your own.  Unless you are told differently, keep cleaning and enjoy the whole evening/event's experiences.
P - Arriving too early and going up to the door, or into the room, is just as unfortunate as being terribly late is.  Shoot for a 15-30 minute range for arrivals if you are hosting, and have a call or something you can do out in your car if you are a guest.  Plan to arrive within 10 minutes of the start if things are more formalized than a simple open house.

These RSVP tips are not mean to be confining or stuffy, rather encouraging and empowering.  By RSVPing with kindness and care, thoughtfulness and follow-through, you will be a guest who just might have a ball, and get invited back!

Gobble Up the Gratitude

"Gratitude is the most exquisite

form of courtesy."

- Jacques Maritain 

French Philosopher 

(1882 - 1973)

Whether it is appreciation, happy, love, gratitude, a look, or another expression you have for the giving of thanks, gobble it up...and give of it freely!

A simple "thank you" can be the best thing someone hears all day.

A smile can be the most welcoming, sweetest sight someone can see all day.

A hug or kiss can be the best connection someone gets all day.

And...

A sincere "you're welcome" can validate that appreciation, and encourage someone to keep giving more, where nothing, or a "no problem" may make the person feel as though the thank you wasn't worthwhile.

A returned smile with the softening of the eyes and the shine of your pearly whites can reinforce how powerful a kind look can be instead of a furrowed brow meeting a smile as though it is saying "what are you smiling at?".

An extra second on the hug or kiss can make that other person feel as though she or he will really be missed when gone, as opposed to the superficial air kiss or shoulder hug.

Only a turkey would miss out on such a feast of gratitude this Thanksgiving...or any time of the year!

7 Ps to Photo Empowerment

With social media making almost every gathering a holiday, and with many actual holidays upcoming, the photos will be taken, posted, liked and commented on before you can say "cheese"!  In order to empower yourself to embrace photo taking, please consider the following 7 Ps to Photo Empowerment: 

1. Pick your best side (we each have one, and yet it could vary by the day, so check it out!) and make an effort to get that side facing, so to speak (and resist saying "this is my best side", rather consider saying "I'll happily take this end" when you are in a row of people, or even it is just two of you)
2. Plant your back foot and lean your weight on it (this serves to keep you from leaning, and pull in your abdomen for balance, creating a lean look) 
3. Point your front foot (without bending your knee, rather keeping that leg straight)
4. Place hand on your outer hip(or put hand at your side with a slight bend - most men, and some women prefer this to the "hand on your hip" look) 
5. Position shoulder (on camera-facing side by rolling your shoulder to get good posture, get your shoulders aligned, and keep your chest up and out) 
6. Peer out of your eyes (by widening them and looking up as you dip your chin) 
7. Play up those Pearly Whites (finish the powerful and fun photo by giving a real, sincere smile with a pop of personality)

By quickly giving your pictures these 7 Ps, you'll likely want to share, tag, and feel good about all the shots you are in this year! 

Body Language Do's & Don'ts

"Language is a more recent technology. Your body language, your eyes, your energy will come through to your audience before you even start speaking."

- Peter Guber

Howard Peter Guber is an American film producer and executive and Chairman and CEO of Mandalay Entertainment.

(b. 1942)

While much of what we say is what gets quoted or shared with others, it is how we make people feel that is even more well remembered.  Part of that "feeling" people get from us has to do with our attitude, some with the situation, and a lot of it has to do with our body language.

A few do's and don'ts for those holiday parties, business meetings and networking events are below...some of which may surprise you based on reports in the past, and all of which will serve you well in being confident, approachable, respectful and engaging with most everyone you meet:

In order to: Be welcoming of/to others and ideas presented. 

Do: Fold your arms in front of you if you are chilly or it is comfortable for you, just keep your fingers out and the cross of the arms below your breast line.
Don't: Fold your arms tightly at your breast line with your hands fully tucked in at the elbows. 

In order to: Convey interest, sincerity and honesty.

Do: Keep eye contact as much as possible, and allow yourself to blink or shift your smile or footing rather than looking away.
Don't: Look around to see who is watching or who else may be present.

In order to: Look and stay engaged. 

Do: Put your mobile devices on silent and out of sight when with other people.
Don't: Put your device on the table, keep the ringer or even vibrate on when with others in conversation or at events.

In order to: Appear polished, professional, well-rested and alert.

Do: Roll your shoulders, practice sitting up straight with shoulders down firmly.
Don't: Slouch.

In order to: Present as professional, mature, and patient when you may or may not agree with a statement; position or proposal.

Do: Listen with your pen, so to speak, by taking notes and avoid sitting by, and even eye contact with someone who may be in the meeting who is less discreet.
Don't: Sit next to someone and whisper to one another with a hand held up as though it will shield the whole act of secrecy.

In order to: Show interest in various opinions/approaches without attacking.

Do: Ask questions that start with "what" or "how" as those open up your face, and therefore, your positioning.
Don't: Ask "why" questions, as those create furrowed brows, frowns, and often close your facial positioning.

In order to: Respectful of all involved, confident and professional.

Do: Shake each person's hand with a firm handshake that meets web-to-web, with your index finger slightly pointed forward, and two-three pumps of the hand from the elbow.
Don't: Attempt to crush another person's hand with an ultra-firm grip, shake for a long period of time, cup the other person's hand, and/or grip a woman's hand differently than a man's.

In order to: Alert and attentive.

Do: Put hands at side, one in pocket, if standing, or clasped on table or in lap when seated.
Don't: Fidget,bite nails, play with hair, touch head or face. 

Pay Attention, Get Business

It's been said that "the devil is in the details", and I prefer to think awards come from interest, meaning there is a progression, when sincere, in making an effort and getting results, meaning:  Attention leads to taking Action, which drives a response in the form of Communication, and such interaction builds to a Relationship based on Honesty, and people do Business with people they know and trust!  So, pay attention, and get business!

Be a SQUEAKY Wheel

"Stay committed to your decision, but stay flexible in your approach."

- Tony Robbins

American life coach, self-help author and speaker.

(b. 1960)

It is often said, felt, and believed that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", and in some locales, it's expressed "the squeaky wheel gets the oil".  Either way, it's about the squeaky wheel.

While I have seen the negative side of squeaking "work", meaning the person was "handled", and gotten rid of, recently, a few things did not go as planned, and in each case, I got that proverbial "grease" or "oil", and yet my squeak was less of a negative to a problem, and more of a nice approach to solutioning together.

If you want to be the SQUEAKY wheel for solutions, please consider this approach: 

S - Smile (note, not smirk!) 

Q - Question by asking in terms of "what" & "how" for conversation (instead of "why?")

U - Understand the situation by hearing, and listening to both sides 

E - Expect results and resolution (not a fight) 

A - Appreciate the position and/or authority of the person with whom you are speaking 

K - Keep calm, focused, fair and aware (of you and for you!) 

Y - Yell if you have to (just kidding...to a certain extent...it is more about yelling, or singing praises when something goes right, or gets fixed, and not just when something goes array!)

Being a part of a battle or an argument is not healthy, happy, professional or productive typically.  Still, things go wrong.  When they do, remember, it really is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease/oil.  How do you want your SQUEAKY to be delivered and perceived, it up to you!

Hearty Appetite for Focus

Some people are real "foodies" where they love food so much they photograph it, talk about it, write post regarding it, and plan their days around it!
 

Whether you are a foodie or not, please consider you focus by food...or at least by meals!  Minimally, if you are being healthy for you, it's quite likely you are eating at least three meals a day, so think of them as: 

• Breakfast is the focus on self and the day ahead overall (even if you are preparing meals for others, make time to focus on your attention and intentions for the day) 
• Lunch is the focus of the resetting of your work day (whether you work from home or an office, lunch is a time to reflect on what has been accomplished, and what is still ahead for the day's results) 
• Dinner is the focus on personal time and activities (whether you are traveling, eating alone or with others, ensure you give yourself time  to enjoy what it is that nourishes you personally)

With a hearty appetite for focus, you will have distinct portions of the day, and end it feeling as though the entire day was just a blur...and likely you will enjoy your mealtime, and your daily accomplishments even more than before!

Customer Service IS Inside Sales

"To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity."

- Douglas Adams

English writer, humorist, and dramatist.

(1952 - 2001)

Too often Customer Service becomes the notion of being a "Service Rep." or a "phone person".  Really, Customer Service, when approached with gusto and expectation, is, in fact, Inside Sales!

How so?

Typically, Sales sells the first service, product, or offering, while how that client or customer is serviced after the sale is commonly a longer relationship than the original sale cycle.

It's not that Sales is not important, rather viewing and treating Customer Service Experts as your Inside Sales will elevate the role, and likely, increase the effectiveness of how they interact and take (even more) pride in their role, their actions, and their results!

Sadly, being seen as just a "Phone Rep.", or worse yet, "The Complaint Department", can minimize the importance of the position.  While I am not suggesting you should change titles (although you could!), rather positioning the role differently will have an impact with more than just them.  Noting, and appreciating the position will alter the way Sales thinks about their colleagues, as well as the way clients/customers think and feel when they make those calls to your Inside Sales Team!

F-words That Ascend, Not Offend

"We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out." - Winston Churchill

One of my favorite Lundbergisms is "practice what you promote...no preaching required", and it is my practice to attend trainings and speaker events throughout the year, just as I promote and provide learning events in my business. So, recently, clients and friends joined together to engage in some personal growth and learning of our own!

While I will not disclose the location, date or event name, you can imagine our surprise when we registered months in advance, arrived to find nothing ready, the kick-off started over 40-minutes late, and the opening comments by the host included the F-word (and I don't mean "fashionable")! Embarrassed, dismayed, and recovering from the shock and disappointment, I lead a quick discussion on how we can learn what not to do just as well as we can learn things to do. We turned it around, and even got a smile out of it. We made the most of the event, and the conversation got me thinking even more...what is it about words that can be so inspiring or so damaging...

Please know I am a far cry from perfect, and I am not a stranger to a curse word. There is a time and a place for how you want to communicate and be remembered. From that unfortunate opener, I came up with some alternatives to that oh-so-memorable F-word. These F-words, whether used out loud or as an internal guide will likely ascend you and your business and others' perceptions of you, rather than offend. The list includes:

FOCUSED - Remember to keep your client, customer, audience and team as your focus with your words. They are thinking about them, and not you, so focus on their interests. Also, stay focused on your expertise, so you can really hone it!

FRIENDLY - Rarely do business leaders get criticized for being too friendly. That approachability is what makes someone real. It is both the smile and welcome that people prefer to remember over the rushed and disinterest that too many of us have on our faces and in our body language.

FREE-THINKING - Being open to ideas and concepts that may seem different or new can keep you fresh. You may not implement everything, but by being someone who considers options, you will minimally broaden your horizons.

FORWARD-MINDED - Consider what and how actions and words impact the person, the company and you later. While I am big on being present, it is also wise to think beyond the moment and the emotions in order to think through what is about to happen. Impact often overrides intent!

FLEXIBLE - It is not only nice to show agility, rather it is almost imperative to be willing to change in our wonderfully-paced world of growth and "newness". Demonstrating an ability to shift and flow is something most of us admire and respect.

FIRM - Interestingly enough, I put Firm after Flexible. What I mean by this word and the order, is that it's terrific to be willing to collaborate and alter plans, and at the same time, to be respected, you do have to take a stand, and professionally hold your ground when you believe in something wholeheartedly.

FABULOUS - While this is one of my favorite words, being fabulous is more than a look or a one-time mention. Being fabulous is being happy for others, supportive of what is right, and willing to stand up and stand out for what you believe in while respecting others as well.

So, while this summer's traffic, heat, storms (and more) inside and outside your work or business may bring thoughts that are less than favorable, remember, there is no failure when you stay FOCUSED, FREE-THINKING, FORWARD-MINDED, FLEXIBLE, FIRM and FABULOUS!

SET the Stage

At a concert or live show of any sort, the stage must be set in order for the audience to get the look and feel of the message and energy being conveyed.

The same is true in personal and professional relationships.

To avoid assumptions, misinterpretations and simply, miscommunication, ensure you SET the stage with others, meaning:
 
Share your 

Expectations in a  

Timely manner

And, allow people to do the same with, and for, you.

By making time to SET the stage, you get on the same page quickly, and allow yourself, like at a performance, to get fully engaged, and enjoy the show, so to speak!

Your Community, Your Involvement

"In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it."

- Marianne Williamson

Spiritual teacher, author and lecturer. She has published ten books, including four New York Times #1 bestsellers.

(b. 1952)

You are a talented person.  You have choices to make about your time.  You treasure certain things, and make money, that may be part of your treasure.  Considering all that is true, and, since I am often asked how I got so involved in our community, this tip is about just that; community.  Community means more than just where you live.  And, community involvement is not limited to being engaged locally where you reside.  Similarly to my belief that friends are the family you make your own, I believe your community is what you create, not just what others make.

Being a part of a true community means being involved.  There is not a guideline for what to do, or how much time and energy "should" be dedicated.  Being a contributing member of your community is up to you and your level of interest, desire, action and ownership.

There are online communities.  What are you involved in online?  Are you contributing?  Are those contributions positive and forward-focused, resolution-based and not bashing?  Did you join a group and never go back?  Consider exiting online communities that no longer interest you.   Seek those that pique your interest now, and will likely last.  If/when one dissipates, then seek others for which you can contribute.

There are community outreaches, where individuals join others to let people know about an event, a place, a cause or activity that is taking place to better someone or something.  This is community involvement.  If you have not done a walk, a run, or even volunteered to support a walk or run for a cause that is important to you, you may just see the road detours as an inconvenience rather than part of a community experience.

And, then again, there is the area (immediately) around you.  Do you know the people by whom you live and work?  Do you have pride in where you are and what you do?  Do you know what is important to you, those with who you share time/space?  Are you willing to put in time and energy to ensure those issues, causes or drives stay relevant?  Do you buy locally to support your merchant community?

Being involved in your community does not just mean using the parks or things that were put in place by public funds.  While that is part of it...choosing a venue that is local versus far away, requesting farm-to-table foods be served, it also means thinking about, and acting on, what you want your future to be...what you want to be the community in which you spend your time, talent and treasure.

Giving & Receiving the Feedback Gift

People like to share opinions.  Some opinions are delivered as criticism. People like to get feedback.  Most people dislike criticism.  Feedback delivered well, and received well, can be a gift...if we let it be!  In order to share opinions, ideas, admiration, and even constructive feedback, so the ideas may even be received as a gift for growth, consider phrasing your ideas in the following ways:

POSITIVE OBSERVATION

• NAME, what you do well is _________
• NAME, you are really good at is ___________
• NAME, you have a great ability to ____________
• NAME, your __________ was really impressive

POTENTIAL IMPROVEMENT

• NAME, you may want to consider ______________
• NAME, you might want to incorporate
• NAME, you may want to consider ______________ in order to improve ____________
• NAME, you might want to incorporate _____________ so you can _____________

By offering your opinions these ways, instead of the typical "I think..." or "I think you should", or "You need to..." comments, you make it about the other person (no "I"), and will likely have your ideas heard, and then considered as input and worthwhile feedback that may even be heard as a "gift"!

Taming the Big Harry APE!

"You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose." 

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery 

French writer, poet, and pioneering aviator. 

(1900 - 1944) 

If you are like most of us, there are times when it seems things are not going the way you would like, expected, anticipated, or could be going! And, at some times, that may be due to a person or people and how they are impacting you and your surroundings at the time. Consider, instead of "feeding the beast", focus on taming the big harry APE!

What I mean by that is we are the ones who allow things to grow or go. Feeding the beast is when you allow the situation or person to be bigger than you or your actions (it grows). Contrarily, when you focus on taming the big harry APE, you become bigger than the situation (it goes) through your:

• Awareness 

• Personality 

• Expectations 

Be aware of what is happening, and that you are in control of you...not them, nor do you likely want to be, and that the control you have is stronger than anything else. Your personality is uniquely you, and with that, you have strengths and opportunities to improve. Go with your strengths, and adjust your personality to the situation to convey those strengths. Also, set expectations for you and others with clear communication, boundaries and exchanges so that you know when to stay and when to leave.

With your focus on your Awareness, Personalities, and Expectations, you will not feed the beast, but rather consistently, and happily, tame the big harry APE!!!

Lead for GROWTH

"A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

American essayist, lecturer, and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century. (1803 - 1882)

Often a good way to grow ourselves as leaders is to assist in the growth of others.

Who can you be a part of in his or her GROWTH? Meaning:

G - Give that person the

R - Responsibility and

O - Opportunity to

W - Work within their

T - Talent and time while

Hearing feedback for learning

Remember, GROWTH is a good thing...for their leadership and yours!

AAA Style

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

- Thomas Jefferson,Founding Father and 3rd US President (1743 - 1826)

Regardless of trends or the season, think about consistently embracing your AAA Style of:

Appearance - what do you want people to see in addition to what you say and do

Attitude - what are you anticipating, sharing and encouraging before and during interactions

After-effect - how do people feel about you, and yes, even talk about you, after you speak, write or visit a meeting or event

Your AAA Style can be A+ if you are mindful of your look and your looks you give, stay open, and share ideas and approaches that encourage. Your appearance, attitude and after-effect all work for or against all you do. While it may be our accomplishments that we strive to achieve, often it is our style that has a longer impact!

Client and Customer Connection

"It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages."

- Henry Ford, American industrialist, the founder of the Ford Motor Company & sponsor of the development of the assembly line technique of mass production. (1863 - 1947)

While there have been many ideas regarding how to treat each other, especially when it comes to customers and clients, it seems there are far more theories than true application! Whether it is the "Golden Rule", or the rule of "The Customer is always right", please consider embracing the approach of connection in addition to satisfaction.

What I mean by that is:

-Clients and customers have many options

-Clients and customers minimally want to be satisfied

-Clients and customers like great service

-Clients and customers really appreciate a connection (and I don't just mean free Wi-fi!)

So, if you are striving to make a difference, be relevant, especially customers and clients, please consider:

-Telling & showing clients and customers you appreciate them sincerely

-Asking clients and customers what they expect (instead of assuming)

-Offering clients and customers ways and times to connect

-Honoring what was discussed

In our world of speed and social media, looking someone in the eye, asking them a couple of things to enhance their experience, providing what they want, and then thanking them for their time and business, can not only go a long way that day, it can connect you to them in a way a post, blog, survey or coupon may never be able to do on its own...and yet it may create a connection to you and your business that opens them up to those additional things as well. With connection, true connection, instead of chasing the next deal, you are consistently engaging in a way that is lasting and real!

From Loss to Win...

"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." ~ Walter Anderson

In life, we have wins and losses.

A loss is a loss...

A loss of something, someone or some opportunity.

Absolutely, mourn that loss.

And then,

Move to being grateful for what you had and at peace with what you do not.

Appreciate each person, thing, and experience for what is given...not what is taken away.

And while you will still have a loss, you will know that you won in the end with your perspective and gratitude.

From Negate to Celebrate

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."

~ Oprah Winfrey, American media proprietor, talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist.(b. 1954)

Today, and each day, there will be things and people to negate, tolerate, appreciate and celebrate.

For those you are tempted to negate, can you tolerate?

Is there something you can appreciate about those you are tempted to just tolerate?

And, can you celebrate each and all you appreciate?

Moving from negate to celebrate may take a few steps, and yet they are yours to make it you want the best in your day!

Welcome Without the "Want to"

"Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~ Melody Beattie, Author of Codependent No More, published in 1987 by the Hazelden Foundation.

When you are welcoming someone, or thanking someone, skip the "I want to..." part of the statement, and go right to the welcome or appreciation. When you say "I want to welcome you..." or "I just want to say thank you for...", you are making it about you, and not about the grace and gratitude that are conveyed for the other person with

"Welcome to..." and "Thank you for..."

Get out of your own way, your own words, and let what you want to say be what you say!!

Socail Media Connection Direction

“Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer, Founded Success Motivation Institute in 1960

If you really are seeking to connect with new and existing friends on Facebook and other personal media outlets, consider only accepting those types of requests, and instead, for business connections or people you have met at/through work, redirect the requests to either a Facebook business page or LinkedIn since these are designed for business interactions. The verbiage I use in a private message to the requester is below, and over the past year, this has proven to be professional and well-received...and it can be for you, too:

Hi NAME!

Here's hoping all is well!

Thank you for the friend request. Since I primarily connect with family and friends to share personal thoughts and multiple photos of events, you may not want to see all of that...

Instead, you may want to "like" my business page, where I post weekday "Lundbergisms" for inspiration and consideration. The link is https://www.facebook.com/PresentingPowerfullyByDebbieLundberg. Also, if you are on LinkedIn, we can connect there at http://www.linkedin.com/in/DebbieLundberg.

Thanks again, and best to you,

Debbie

Feel free to use or tweak as you deem fit, and best wishes growing your real friend base as well as your professional connections!