Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture. 

~ Lydia M. Child

While Imposter Syndrome, the feeling that you are not qualified, or somehow a fake, has been studied since the 1970's, it is a topic of interest and request of late for my practice. In particular, with women, the past five years has had an increase in tailoring a talk on Imposter Syndrome, and over the past three years, men and women have been interested in knowing what it is, how to identify it, how to overcome it, and how to coach others beyond it. 

So, the Top 10 summary is broken down into 4 categories:

 2 – Be Your Biggest Fan

 4 – Set Personal Boundaries

 2 – Practice Vulnerability

 2 – Own Your Impact

10 ways to lessen imposter syndrome as you increase confidence. 

They are:

10 - Own & celebrate your achievements! (Both are essential to avoid burnout, find joy in your uniqueness & cultivate self-confidence.)

  9 - See yourself as a work in progress. (Start something new to gain skills rather than not doing it to avoid failure! Better to fail as the future you than succeed only as the current you!)

 8 - Set expectations & make commitments…(while overcoming the desire to be perfect!)

 7 - Veer away from external validation. (Nobody has the power to make you feel good (or bad) about yourself, unless you let them!)

 6 - Know you’re a person so you will take things personally…(And, take constructive criticism seriously, and choose to make it feedback for growth by asking 1) Is it true, 2) Does it matter to my brand, 3) Do I want to make a change?)

 5 - Know that:  Gossip is garbage, Jealousy is junk, Comparison is crippling, and Doubt is destroying (And that these approaches: gossip, jealousy, comparison, and doubt are all "small thinking" - be bigger than those ways!)

 4 - Get & engage with a mentor or coach! (With full transparency, and know that it is not likely your direct leader/supervisor, for when someone decides advancement and pay, there can be challenges with transparency not carrying over into those decisions.)

 3 - See others as inspirations and resources - as opportunities to guide/assist you! (There is no shame in asking for help!)

 2 - Stop over-apologizing (One apology is enough, if you made an error, and then move to thanks for waiting, or thanks for accommodating - gratitude over apology is confidence-building! Plus, many "I'm sorry"s can be replaced with "Excuse me" and/or "Please forgive me for..." instead without hesitation!)

 1 - Practice Emotional Intelligence (Be consistent, fair, kind, and gracious…to you & others!)

Imposter Syndrome is a state of mind, and it is a real feeling that with these steps, awareness, and a willingness to couple humility with the recognition that you have strengths and value, it is also something that can be overcome!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #ImposterSyndrome

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Being Your Own Biggest Fan!

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."

 ~ Norman Vincent Peale 

American Clergyman/Speaker.

(1898 - 1993)

Sure, it's great to get kudos, thanks, and accolades for work or words well-done, and yet relying on others' views and shared opinions of you can leave you feeling dependent, or worse yet, desperate, for that feedback.

How do we overcome that desire to get input and hear praise? While we may not ever not seek feedback, after all, it is good for us, we can share insights and good cheer from within in an effort to support and supplement, and dare to be the foundation, to good vibes, and therefore, good self-esteem. Being our own biggest fan can be done without conceit or vanity, rather for good health and well being by doing the following:

• Practicing GRATITUDE. By being thankful for what we have we are reminding ourselves of the good in our world/life.
• Taking a POWER STANCE each day. These were shared most widely in the Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy. Opening up to a Superman/Wonder Woman type stance for two minutes can empower our energy to be confident. https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
• Have a MANTRA. I have the mantra "I want, I will, I am", which has been shared in previous updates. Think "I want _____ (a desired outcome), and I will _____ (an action to take), because I am _______ (characteristic or attribute about self)." An example is "I want to be on time for meetings and clients today, so I will tend to my directions for the entire day while planning, because I am a conscientious collaborator and partner." A mantra sets you up to "be" based on your own abilities.
• Give yourself a PERSONAL PEP TALK. Something that says "You've got this!". Talk to yourself and use your name. Once I share to myself if "You've got this, Deb. You know what you are doing, prepared for success, and you're going to deliver what the audience wants and deserves. Enjoy it!"
• Develop a CEO of MEO mission statement, meaning be the Chief Empowerment Officer of My Every Opportunity. My current CEO of MEO is: "I am a lean, pristine, high-performing human being bringing positivity to people, situations and choices in order to be present and live life fully"! This form of I AM statement commands attention from the strengths you have toward the now and the future.
• Write your future state in a paragraph as though it is an article about you now. Use third person to take a view from afar while getting into up-close details.
• Meditate and let go of stress that is not serving you well.
• Shift from poor-serving habits with well-serving habits. Simply giving things up can seem like punishment, so exchange those habits with something positive and see how the pivot makes the change a direction and not detrimental.
• Replace "Have to, Need to, Should, Ought to" with "I want, I will, I am, I am in the process of" to focus on what you are processing for progress rather than what you are doing our of obligation.
• Write a compliment on your bathroom mirror to yourself each morning first thing so that you'll see it all day long and appreciate you being you!

Some things may seem small, and they are. Some things may seem simple, and they are. Some things may seem silly, and they are NOT! Investing in your belief, reflection, support and confidence is anything other than silly, and everything around smart!