WOW or "Wow-Effect"?

"It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people." ~ Dolph Sharp, Author

There is a difference in a real "WOW" and just the wow-effect.

While it may be tempting to quickly tell a client or customer "sure, we can do that" because you want to get the business, or to say "I am not sure if we can do that" because you want to surprise the client or customer when you do get "that" done, are you really being a person who WOWs, or a person of woes who is going for the wow-effect?

Those who WOW go above and beyond, surely, and it is done to care for a client or customer, patient or another person. Wanting to wow is terrific, ensuring a wow by setting something up without an appropriate expectation (what I call the "wow-effect") is setting you, and your clients/customers/patients up for woes eventually.

Appropriately promise and appropriately deliver (Instead of under-promise and over-deliver, also know as "sandbagging" or over-promise and under-deliver, AKA "here comes the excuse") so that your WOW moments come in things that are truly special extras, and not just based on timing that you manipulated or inflated in order to have the wow-effect!

Character Creates Community

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." - Mother Teresa (1910-1997)

While your house can become your home with your personal touches, your surrounding area can be more than just a development or city...it can really become an extension of you, it can become your community.

Community is a word often used for an geographical area, and not so commonly felt by the people who live near one other yet share no common purpose or drive.

So how does one become part of a community? Here are my ideas on sharing your character, taking action, and really generating the sense, the feel, and the belonging of COMMUNITY:

C - Care with compassion. O - Offer time, opinion, input. M - Mentor someone else. M - Meet your own goals. U - Understand the strengths of the area. N - Now is the time for you to decide if you want to be a real part of the community. I - Invest in your area...personally and/or professionally. T - Tell the story of the community each chance you get. Y - You'll benefit too, and yet it won't even be about you!

When you care, offer time, mentor others, meet your goals, understand the strengths, know that now is the time, invest in the area, tell the community story, and see the benefits to you, it will be a labor of love for your community...a real flexing of your character muscles!

Recommendation Letter Considerations

"One should not confuse the craving for life with endorsement of it." - Elias Canetti, Swiss Author (1905-1994)

Since I have applied for organizations and an appointment recently that required letters of recommendation, and having been asked for letters of recommendation half a dozen times in the recent months, it seems timely to "talk" about considerations for such letters. If you are seeking something...a job, admission into school, membership, etc., you know the most about the opportunity, and about you, so please consider the following guidelines for seeking and/or providing a letter of recommendation:

1) Ask more people than required (some people will not respond or participate).

2) Plan ahead with dates and times as requests, so that you can also send kind reminders without a panic.

3) Write a draft of the letter yourself if you are the seeker. (Yes, you write it, as you do not want to impose a huge time request on the person you are asking, and you know the two to four highlights you want to cover for the particular position/opportunity you are seeking.) If someone asks you, reply back to the person by asking that person seeking the letter to draft a letter first.

4) Start the letter with anything other than "I". Beginning with "Having had the pleasure of working with So-and-So" since...". or "So-and-So is someone who demonstrates..." is a positive, powerful way to begin!

5) Address the letter to the reader "To the Board of XYZ", or "To the XYZ Selection Committee" versus "To Whom it May Concern".

6) Provide more than one paragraph...and no more than four.

7) Change the letter to your liking once you receive it as the person being sought for a recommendation. Apologize for nothing you change, as to be sincere and keep your integrity, you want the letter to reflect what you feel/think. The seeker writing the draft is just an outline for you. Ultimately, it is your word, name and endorsement that is being recorded.

8) Proof the final product for dates, spelling and overall validity.

9) Ensure the letter is on letterhead and signed (even if scanned and emailed versus mailed).

10) If you are the seeker, if possible, plan to mail the hard copy yourself to ensure you know what product is going in, and that it is completed.

By allowing time and energy to spent on the letter of recommendation that you are seeking, you are likely going to get appreciative and eager supporters sharing in your journey instead of quick notes or the reply "I'd love to, but I just don't have time", or worse yet, something you are not proud to submit. Additionally, for the recommending party, you have made the effort minimal, and the participation and results will be maximized!

Appreciation Options

"Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They're absolutely free and worth a fortune." ~ Sam Walton, American Businessman and Wal-Mart Founder

Today is the 223rd day of 2012, and for each day this year, I have shared a note of gratitude through my "Attitude of Appreciation 366" personal project whereby I send a handwritten note to someone (or multiple someones) every day including Sunday for an entire calendar year. This has been a great experiment in my attention to others, and a great experience in the personal rewards gotten from feeling good about others. I share this with you not so you can feel bad about not sending note cards or tell me how many you have sent, rather this is one approach to appropriately appreciating others. Appreciation can come in the form of verbal, written or what I call "carry forward appreciation".

Verbal appreciation is well given and typically well received if you state something like "NAME, you are ____________". This way, the message is not "I think you are ____________", and it makes it more about the other person than you (and isn't that where you'd ultimately like the focus to be?).

Written appreciation can be in an email, note, card, or document to a team. The same approach of using the person's name, sharing something s/he did that was impressive, kind, or otherwise, will go a long way. Make every effort to respond to someone within 24 hours and minimally within a week following something you'd like to ensure the person knows you appreciate.

Carry-forward appreciation is the referral or the complimenting of a person to another person whether the subject of your appreciation is present or not. Carry-forward appreciation is much like "spreading a good rumor" as it is fun to do, and impacts both the person hearing you and the person about which you are speaking. Telling someone "NAME, you may already have a physician, and if you are looking for someone for a second-opinion, who is highly qualified, won't keep you waiting, and has tremendous interest in patient's well-being, you may want to consider Dr. XYZ, as s/he has been all those things and more to me."

Whatever style fits for you, please do show appreciation often. When done sincerely, it is the no-cost way to increase the value of your relationships. Expect nothing in return, and likely your appreciation will offer a lot more than just the words to the recipient, and will still bring so much back to you as well!

Your Work Completion Style

"Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions." ~ John Randolph, US Politician (1773 - 1833)

Time is one of our precious, non-renewable resources. We know this.

Work takes time. We make time for things that we want to get done, and sometimes feel like we must get done. I am a bigger fan of wanting to get something completed, as it creates desire and not obligation, but this article is about knowing how you address time when it comes to work, and in particular deadlines and deliverables.

Since we are amidst the 2012 Olympics, I will call the three approaches Bronze, Silver and Gold, as they all can be successful...depending on your personality, effort, expectations and outcomes. The three approaches are immediate (Bronze), just-in-time (silver), and project plan (gold). While I am using the medals as a reference, it is not that gold is best for all, and silver is better than bronze, rather it is about knowing your style and either accepting it or intentionally changing it, instead of thinking you should be doing something differently when what you do works for you!

Bronze style means you get back from a client, out of a meeting, or have a thought, and immediately work on what was discussed. If bronze is your approach, then ensure you schedule time after each meeting, sales pitch or brainstorming activity.

Silver style is that of a person who believe s/he "works best under pressure. They tend to schedule things back-to-back and fill the days with new and more things, people, and opportunities. If you are silver approach person, then book work time in your office close the day before something is due. Ensure you book enough time, as silver style people often underestimate how long things will take!

Gold style is the project manager style approach. This is a person who wants to work a bit at a time. If you are a gold approach person, book blocks of time each week or every few days in order to chip away at parts of the work you have to do.

The Gold style may seem ideal, and it likely paces things well, but if that does not work for you, then either schedule yourself because you want the process to work, or step away from the idea of "what should be", and embrace what you are.

Bronze, Silver and Gold medals all get accolades and recognition at the Olympics, and each of the approaches to completing work can, in fact, work, too, as long as the time is allotted and planned for appropriately! I personally work all three styles with different clients and various deliverables.

Consider what is the best bet for your situation, and then embrace it...Olympic style!

Here I am running with the Olympic Torch in 2002...on my way to being excited for all that was to come!

Desire, Doubt or Dread

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." ~ Bill Cosby, American Comedian & Actor

Not everything goes the way we want it to go, and surely sometimes it seems as though there is "too much" or "not enough" whether we are thinking about projects or time, or a litany of other things. Still, we are all pretty fortunate in our opportunities and undertakings...for the most part. Studies have shown that not only our abilities, but also our attitude greatly impact the results of our efforts. And, while most of us likely think we have a good, or even great, attitude, or minimally, a positive attitude, how are you doing on your self-talk, or even your "chatter"? Are you speaking in terms of desire, doubt, or dread?

I often encourage people to speak in terms of "WANT TO" instead of "need to", "should" or "have to", and that is still the case. Now, I hope you will consider minimizing, if not eliminating things like "I don't know how I can do that" (doubt) and "this is impossible" (dread), and event things that seem pretty innocent like "I can't believe this is happening" (doubt), or "I can't wait until this is behind me" (dread). This seemingly innocent chatter we share with friends, family and colleagues can be the death of our direction, as it is feeding into our questioning of our abilities and interest, and therefore, our attitudes. The DESIRE to complete something may sound a lot like the last example given, and yet instead of the "I can't wait until this is behind me" (dread), positioning your mindset in the words "It'll be great to complete this!" or "When I am done with this, I'll celebrate the accomplishment", or even "I am making strides toward finishing this" all send the message that it not only can be done, it will be done, and it is manageable.

This is not meant to be phony, and sure, it may sound like a bit of a trick to your mind. The reality is, our attitude becomes our actions. If we dread something, our behaviors will likely seem put-off or less than interested. That is not how you want to be perceived, right? Change your dread or doubt to DESIRE, and watch not only your approach change, but others' response to you change as well!

Interview Savvy - Both Sides of Table

"Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire." - Dan Zevin, Comic Writer

When we think of interviewing, we may all have different experiences, and yet, rarely is there someone we meet who has not either been interviewed or the interviewer who had an interesting story to tell, right? To avoid being the butt of those stories or jokes, here are my top ten lists for both interviewers and interviewees: For an Interviewee, after fully researching the school or company to which you are applying:

1) Ensure you are genuinely interested in the company, and if you interview during work hours, take vacation, and better yet, ask if you can interview off hours first. 2) Test your interview "look" standing, sitting and moving in front of the mirror after selecting it carefully. 3) Test your driving or transportation route prior to the interview , and arrive in the lobby 8-12 minutes early (not earlier, as you will likely just be in the way. If you arrive earlier, wait in the car.). 4) Take many resumes, a portfolio with paper and two pens (in case one fails), but leave your water bottle or coffee at home. 5) Smile, listen, be ready and engaged (be genuinely friendly to each person you encounter). 6) Look people in the eye, shake 2-3 firm pumps and stop shaking as you shake hands with each person you meet. 7) Ask no questions about pay or benefits on the first interview, but do ask if you may take notes, and then if they say yes, take notes 8) Have 3-4 deeper than surface level questions regarding the company ready for the end of the interview 9) The last question is: "Having spent this time together, first, thank you, and second, is there any reason at this point that you would not hire me?" (Be ready for the response!) 10) Know the interview is about fit - for both you and the company, so enjoy it!!! And then, go home and email and mail thank you notes to each person with whom you engaged that day. Mail them immediately.

For an Interviewer, after fully vetting the resume of the person for whom you are interviewing, and developing the core competencies for the role (6-10 of them):

1) Take control of the interview by greeting the person, saying your name, welcoming him or her, thanking him or her for being on time (if s/he was) and then looking at your watch to say what time it is, and how long the interview will last. Ask the person to sit, and gesture to where. Once he or she is seated, start the engagement fully. 2) Share what the process for the interview will be (I recommend saying something like "For the first couple questions, please just take two or three minutes, and then we'll get into the more formal part of the interview, and then I'll leave time at the end of the interview for your questions and I'll cover next steps." Smile, that person is likely nervous! 3) Ask the person for a resume, and then say something like "Tell me a little bit about you...", and see where it goes. (Don't let it go past 3 minutes - you already set the expectation.) 4) Thank him or her and ask "What did you do to prepare for today?" (This tells you about research, readiness, eagerness, etc.) 5) Explain that we are now moving into the more formal part of the interview, and for each of the next X questions, you will be seeking specifics such as the background, action and results (I call this RAISE the BAR). 6) Listen for the BAR for each question (have one question per competency). Only interrupt or correct for the "always" and "never" answers twice, as you are seeking specifics, but you do not want someone who is not listening at all to you. Mark on your page a 1 or zero under each the B(Background), A(Action), and R(Results). 7) Walk through the job description and ask if there is anything the interviewee wants to share briefly now that it has been fully reviewed. Listen. 8) Ask the last two questions of: "We have all had disappointments in life or something not go the way we expected, please tell me about one of yours.", and "What has been your greatest accomplishment or success so far?" 9) Allow time for Q & A (expect some, and don't rush it). 10) Share next steps including what happens next to when all the way through when you would like to have the position filled. Thank the person, and stand up to walk him or her out.

While you surely have additional tips, I welcome them, and in the meanwhile, minimally incorporate some or all of these for a savvy and enjoyable interview experience!

A Positive Put-Down

Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries. - Astrid Alauda, writer

When we think of water, and glasses filled to the mid-point, it may conjure recollections similar to the following: -The optimist sees the glass half-full -The pessimist sees the glass half-empty -The realist says "Let's get the proper sized glass" and -The opportunist drinks the water!

In hearing (or reading) that, we may question in which category we fall...the optimist, the pessimist, the realist or the opportunist...

While that may be a thought-provoking way to think of it, there is another mindset around that water glass, too! Imagine if you thought about how heavy that glass was. It's not heavy really, is it? You take drinks from a glass fairly regularly, I bet. You take the drink, you put down the glass...no big weight issue there, right? Still, if you held the glass for an hour straight, the glass might start to feel awkward and uncomfortable in your hand, and to your arm. Now, if you held it overnight, you may need some serious pain relief, and if it were held for a few days or a week...imagine the "weight" of that little glass of water...you may need medical attention for that pain or damage!

Now, think of the glass as stress, anger, disappointment, or anything else that at first can seem manageable. How long have you been holding it, and how heavy is it getting? When are you going to put it down? We are going to "pick up" stressful things, get angry, be disappointed, and even overburdened at times. It's what we do when we realize it that determines the "weight" of it on each of us. When will we handle it, or in effect, put the "glass" down? Remember, the issue or opportunity is not as heavy as we often allow it to be. The burden of carrying something need not be without relief, so when you have anxiety, distraction, stress and other things you are carrying for hours, days, weeks or longer, decide for you that you are going to be the one who is, instead of carrying it, will make it a "positive put-down" by addressing it, releasing it, or simply letting go!

Please Root FOR, and Not Against

When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team. ~ Richard Roeper, American Columnist

Whether it is a baseball game, a work meeting, a debate, a beauty pageant, an election or the upcoming Olympics, when you are cheering for someone, please ensure you aren't jeering another.

What I mean by that is support for one person, team, idea or country need not be the bashing of the opposition. Rooting for something you like, believe in, or hope will succeed is just that "rooting". In the unofficial definition of rooting (read as "my definition") rooting is 'pulling for, showing support in a positive, encouraging, professional manner'.

Your rooting may mean a vote, applause, "who hoo"s when the person, team or candidate is presented, and it also may simply mean silence to hear what is said, or an open mind and non-distracted eyes to see what is done. It may mean wearing the colors of the team, or a button of the contender, or sharing verbal and non-verbal agreement with a concept or proposal. It need not be the trashing of people, ideas, parties, etc. just to get noticed, get the crown going, or to get inside the head of whomever you are not rooting for.

There are many ways to root, to support someone or something, and all of them can be done without any negativity, attack or ill-will toward those not receiving your outright support. Please consider respecting an opponent is as much rooting for your idea, player, participant, candidate or country, as all of the other actions you can take. And, yes, hopefully all that "rooting for" leads you to your ultimate victory, I do not want to overlook or negate that. Still, by practicing the root, root, root, as in the quotation above, you really can be a rooter filled with cheers and not jeers, and no matter the final outcome of the discussion, meeting, event or competition, you will not have presented anything but support and can hold your head high for how you handled the opportunity.

F-Words that Ascend, Not Offend

"We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out." - Winston Churchill

One of my favorite Lundbergisms is "practice what you promote...no preaching required", and it is my practice to attend trainings and speaker events throughout the year, just as I promote and provide learning events in my business. So, recently, clients and friends joined together to engage in some personal growth and learning of our own!

While I will not disclose the location, date or event name, you can imagine our surprise when we registered months in advance, arrived to find nothing ready, the kick-off started over 40-minutes late, and the opening comments by the host included the F-word (and I don't mean "fashionable")! Embarrassed, dismayed, and recovering from the shock and disappointment, I lead a quick discussion on how we can learn what not to do just as well as we can learn things to do. We turned it around, and even got a smile out of it. We made the most of the event, and the conversation got me thinking even more...what is it about words that can be so inspiring or so damaging...

Please know I am a far cry from perfect, and I am not a stranger to a curse word. There is a time and a place for how you want to communicate and be remembered. From that unfortunate opener, I came up with some alternatives to that oh-so-memorable F-word. These F-words, whether used out loud or as an internal guide will likely ascend you and your business and others' perceptions of you, rather than offend. The list includes:

FOCUSED - Remember to keep your client, customer, audience and team as your focus with your words. They are thinking about them, and not you, so focus on their interests. Also, stay focused on your expertise, so you can really hone it! FRIENDLY - Rarely do business leaders get criticized for being too friendly. That approachability is what makes someone real. It is both the smile and welcome that people prefer to remember over the rushed and disinterest that too many of us have on our faces and in our body language. FREE-THINKING - Being open to ideas and concepts that may seem different or new can keep you fresh. You may not implement everything, but by being someone who considers options, you will minimally broaden your horizons. FORWARD-MINDED - Consider what and how actions and words impact the person, the company and you later. While I am big on being present, it is also wise to think beyond the moment and the emotions in order to think through what is about to happen. Impact often overrides intent! FLEXIBLE - It is not only nice to show agility, rather it is almost imperative to be willing to change in our wonderfully-paced world of growth and "newness". Demonstrating an ability to shift and flow is something most of us admire and respect. FIRM - Interestingly enough, I put Firm after Flexible. What I mean by this word and the order, is that it's terrific to be willing to collaborate and alter plans, and at the same time, to be respected, you do have to take a stand, and professionally hold your ground when you believe in something wholeheartedly. FABULOUS - While this is one of my favorite words, being fabulous is more than a look or a one-time mention. Being fabulous is being happy for others, supportive of what is right, and willing to stand up and stand out for what you believe in while respecting others as well.

So, while this summer's traffic, heat, storms (and more) inside and outside your work or business may bring thoughts that are less than favorable, remember, there is no failure when you stay FOCUSED, FREE-THINKING, FORWARD-MINDED, FLEXIBLE, FIRM and FABULOUS!

SUCCESS Through Difficult Conversations

"A single conversation across the table with a wise person is worth a month's study of books." - Chinese Proverb

What makes some conversations more difficult than others? Surely it is the topic, and it can also be our perception, our approach, and our own discomfort. Hoping things will go away or change is ideal for a moment, but eventually, just idealistic. As a leader, there are going to be potential difficult conversations to lead. First, decide you are going to have them, and then determine how to handle them professionally, and, for the sake of you and the other person/people, quickly! I view the situations as a DPD road to Success. The DPD stands for Decide, Prepare and Deliver. The SUCCESS comes from how you handle the last, most critical part, the delivery. Here is an overview:

Decide. Before you launch into a plan, please consider the following: Is this useful? Is this opinion or input? Is there a solution?

If the conversation will just be hurtful, filled with opinion, and more of a "hit-and-run" criticism versus a chance to address and resolve something, don't have it. People mistake complaints and thrashings for difficult conversations, and those are only difficult for those of us who thought you were a leader and find you were not leading, rather ranting if you do that. If the conversation is useful, for input, and there is a solution, proceed.

Prepare. Think this through beyond the concepts above. Go into a tactical approach, including: What to say. What not to say. How to say it. What if...

Know that certain facts and concerns are to be included. Bringing up superfluous ideas and the past may just be "piling on", so be certain things are not unrelated, or simply hurtful. When addressing someone and something like this, keep tone, eye contact, and compassion in mind. Know what you hope to have as an outcome. Similarly, think "what if this goes differently?". Consider the personality, personal history, and personal attitude of both you and the other person in the conversation. Expect the best, and still prepare for the worst.

Deliver. Do it. Ensure this is done face-to-face whenever possible. Even if you are on the phone due to distance of the relationship or situation, please embrace the following in delivery: Privately. Personally. For growth. With compassion.

By ensuring the person's privacy, and bringing the "e" to human and being humane in your delivery, you will ensure the person knows you want him or her to grow as a result of the conversation, and not feel embarrassed or ashamed. This is something you will discuss and put in the past. When you are compassionate and clear, there will be SUCCESS in the tackling of the difficult conversation quickly and kindly while being firm and focused. SUCCESS comes from all the following:

Seek permission. Make sure the person knows you are having a meeting. Something like "Is this a good time to talk for 10-15 minutes about the XYZ client lunch?" Use a soft start. Give the person a chance. "How did you think the lunch went?" may be appropriate, and something like "How ARE you doing?" may work. Let the other person take the lead on recognizing things. S/he may not, but a soft start (Not a "Boy, you are in trouble here!" or "You've got me in a really bad place") will allow the compassion to show. Consider feelings and facts. People get emotional. You may. Keep to facts whenever possible. Calm with mood not humor. While discomfort can bring out the worst in our "humor", let it rest. Resist the temptation to say something light, or to giggle or laugh to "lighten the mood". Instead, focus on being calm and professional, so the other person will sense your mood and likely follow your pacing and positioning. Express impact of change. Let the person know s/he can make the change. Move to solution and change fairly quickly once the situation is outlined. Also, share how the change will positively impact his/her image, impression, feelings, and position. Stay clear and stay positive on this one. Straight-forward in language and tone. Watch the "kind of", "sort of", and "sometimes you might", and even the "you might want to consider" language. I love "you may want to consider" for offering ideas, but in difficult conversations, language and tone are to be firm and fair, clear and concise, so instead, something like "it is imperative for your success and growth that you...". Seek agreement/follow-up. With all of the above happening, you are not dictating, rather being a guide and leader as you manage the situation. Let the conversation end only when you and the other person have agreement. Ask for it if there is little said or expressed from the other person. Getting it may seem invasive, and yet not having a plan to follow-up (specifically with a date/time to cover it), you may be left in ambiguity and facing a much more difficult exchange.

Few of us enjoy difficult conversations, while most of us enjoy growth and being the catalyst for it in ourselves and others. Having difficult conversations for SUCCESS will enable that in your relationships, so take the DPD approach to things like inappropriate behavior, changing roles, odor, personality, language, and other issues I hear about frequently, and experience the impact of addressing things instead of simply hoping for change!

4 Cs of Hiring/Transitioning

"It is all one to me if a man comes from Sing Sing Prison or Harvard. We hire a man, not his history." - Malcolm S. Forbes, American Businessman and founder of Forbes Magazine (1919 - 1990)

Whether you are seeking a new team member or looking to change roles, if you are the person hiring or the one looking to be hired, please keep the 4 Cs of Hiring and Transitioning in mind, and in action. For a change to work, remember to assess all of the aspects mentioned here, as we tend to cover one or two, maybe even three, but rarely all four, since we let time, the referral, emotions, or simple distraction get in our way. Those 4 Cs are: Competencies, Culture, Commitment, and Character. Competencies are to be defined as a number (ideally 10 or fewer) attributes that are necessary for being able to complete the tasks and get the job done. Some may be customer-focused, detail-oriented, independent worker, creativity, etc. These are not just words, but definitions that can be assessed and interviewed to/for in a behavioral style. People can "sell" us a great line of always and never, when we really want specifics to prove the competencies have been demonstrated. Culture is about attitude, flow, communication, and expectations. Someone can have the competencies to do the tasks, but not the feel, vibe, comfort of the environment in which s/he will work...and you want all of it! People who are casual, and the culture is business professional, or people who are low-tech when your firm is high-tech, are likely not a cultural fit. People who are new to the idea and open, may be a fit. Watch snap judging here! Commitment is about focus, desire, and the ability to show a stick-to-it-ness. Flexibility in what happens plays into commitment in that someone does not run when things change, and yet commitment means that person will dig in and get things done when needed because it is the right thing to do. Commitment is less about words, and more about actions. Ensure there is talk about adversity, opportunity, change and choices here. Character is a judgement. Right or wrong, nice to say or not, we are a society where character gets tested. This is the bringing together of your gut feeling with what was demonstrated. Be mindful of not getting caught up here with credentials over the core of the person. For some people and companies, the definition/concept of "character" becomes one of the competency, and for others, it is a sense of the person. Give scenarios where challenging decisions come/came into play. Character is not about charm and likeability, rather it is a mix of competencies and commitment working in the specific culture. In a way, this is both the foundation and the umbrella for the "fit", and yet reviewing someone or some team for character is often where things are missed. Often, like in dating, we take hiring tremendously personally. We will...each of us is a person, therefore, we take things personally. Still, with the 4 Cs in mind, we can be a person who looked at each aspect, and decided if there was a fit or not on both sides instead of feeling like we either won or lost, were "it" or not, or that we "performed" well or not in an interview or during the vetting process. Remember, making a hire, or transitioning to a new position is not just an action, it is a decision, and it is not about a fix for a problem, rather it is about growing the business and growing personally/professionally. Ensure the 4 Cs are part of your next move, and see how you view the hiring or transitioning differently!

3 Ps of Meetings

"Life it is not just a series of calculations and a sum total of statistics, it's about experience, it's about participation,it is something more complex and more interesting than what is obvious." ~ Daniel Libeskind, American Architect (b - 1946)

Since many of us have a lot of meetings on our calendars, and with time being one of our non-renewable resources, let's make the most of them! The 3 Ps of meeting success are that people are prepared, present and participatory...if you are not, for what reason are you in the meeting? Being prepared may be about a readiness to learn, being present is not allowing distractions for that short time, and being participatory may mean conflict, encouragement, questions and/or idea-sharing. Stick with the 3 Ps, and meetings will be most meaningful!

Memorial Day, Memories & More…

“Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist ( 1803-1882)

With Memorial Day nearly upon us, often we are thinking summer, end of school and moving forward. What did it take for us to be able to think these things? It took direction, dedication and sacrifice. Thank you to all who left us with but their memory so that we could make more. Each chance you have to make memories, please think of it not as work, or just another day, rather as an opportunity created for you by a stranger to you, someone who came before you, and wanted his or her work, his or her day, his or her chance to make a difference to really count. Do more for yourself, your family, your company, your community, your country. Do it out of direction and dedication to honor such sacrifice. Do it because you want to do it, you know each person deserves a good memory, and do it because Memorial Day is once a year, but the concept, appreciation and attitude around it can live on each day! So, enjoy the sunny days, the graduations, and all that is summer. Thank you to all who serve and have served, and thank you especially now, to those who did not get to experience life after their service. You are all in our minds, our memories, and more…

Communication: Differentiating Assumption & Expectation

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. ~ Charles Kettering, American inventor, engineer, businessman (1876 - 1958)

Since most of us know the expression "Never assume...", and when you assume, you make...(of you and me)". These ideas give warning that assumptions are not a good thing. Similarly, we have notions of "high expectations yield high results", and "expect nothing; get nothing". These messages carry the connotation that expectations are a good thing... So what is the difference in assuming, and that not serving us well, and setting expectations, and those giving us focus? I believe the act of communication, effective communication, is what separates the two! Assumptions are often kept to oneself, and therefore, have no other opinion or fact combined with them to enhance or sway them. Assumptions also tend to be negative. I rarely hear something like "I assumed Debbie would do well, and she did!", rather don't we hear mumblings after the fact that are similar to "Well, I assumed you wouldn't show, and you did not."? Expectations can be private, but when most effective, are typically are stated. "You know this material well, and I expect you will finish this report by Tuesday and send it to the leadership team via email for them to review before Thursday's Board Meeting." lets us know the who, what, where, when and how. They convey a belief in someone else, and they are expressed to the other person. Assumptions seem dark and negative because they are often without consideration for the other person's talents or input, where expectations can be clear and positive when the communication that surrounds them has the intent of productivity and the message is clear. If you find you, or others you know are assuming, remember to communicate with (not just to) them about the importance of the message to move to expectations over assumptions.

Conflict Creates Collaboration

"A good manager doesn't try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people. If you're the boss and your people fight you openly when they think that you are wrong - that's healthy." - Robert M. Townsend, Professor of Economics in the Department of Economics at MIT (b. 1948)

Being a leader does not mean having one or many "blind followers", and yet, in many organizations, people are expected, or simply do "Follow the Leader". When leaders discourage, ignore, or worse yet, clearly berate with those who have conflicting ideas or questions, they are not "winning", they are simply creating a culture of insincere, apathetic acceptance. And, is it really acceptance...or just compliance? I have yet to meet a leader who is thriving who is seeking compliant team members. Remember, having conflict does not mean disrespect, or argument, rather allowing and inviting conflicting ideas and perspectives is the way to consider all sides, know where people stand, and make an informed decision. Once conflict has yielded healthy conversation, there needs to be a direction, and not a dissension. This "agree to disagree" concept seems professional, but it is really at best, compromise, which is not a win-win, or at worst, just moving on instead of moving forward. Not everyone will get his or her way, but with conflict in conversations, and a decision that comes as a result of full discussion, people can get behind each other, get on-board about the ideas that were decided, and therefore, support the direction of the leadership...which will be at that point, their own based on the collaborative approach!

Feedback...To Give & Receive

"Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it." - Michael J. Gelb , Author, Speaker (b. 1952)

To be successful, really successful personally and professionally, it is important we want to learn to give and receive feedback well...not loudly, not softly, but well! To give positive feedback, please follow this format: NAME, you are... Or NAME, you have the ability to... Or NAME, you demonstrated such... Please stop saying "I think you are...". Make it about the other person. Be specific, be brief, be bold and be about them! When giving less-than-optimal feedback, please consider it as offering improvements by using language like below: NAME, you have the opportunity to improve... And, when you state that, offer a solution versus his/her fault. Rather than saying "Debbie, you are too loud in meetings", you could say "Debbie, you have the opportunity to connect with colleagues in meetings by lowering your volume and engaging with them in a tone that is inviting". When you receive feedback, please resist discounting it ("What that? I did not think it was that good") or defending it ("They don't get me", or "That's how I am", or "That's not what I meant"). Instead, a simple "thank you" will suffice. Success is not in being perfect, a part of being a successful, thriving person, though, is being perfectly happy and grateful for feedback received, and better yet, for feedback received, and implemented...those with whom you shared feedback, and that you got as well!

Maximize Your Moxumility

"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." - Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900

MoxumilityTM is a word I have trademarked to show, express and encourage the idea of combining moxie with humility. While it is super to have the confidence (the moxie) it is also well-serving to know there is more to learn, experience and appreciate (the humility). Here are my top 10 ways to Maximize Your Moxumility. Additionally, here's a link to a 28-minute talk where I shared this as well: http://youtu.be/c23pkMRH1jE 10 - Be the expert in your space for your size, clients & offerings. 9 - Be trusting to be trustworthy. 8 - Be responsive instead of reactionary. 7 - Be contagious. 6 - Be grateful instead of just full of "great"s. 5 - Be absolutely, positively addicted to the truth! 4 - Be more interested in others than interesting to others. 3 - Be about "What?" and/or "How?" over "Why?". 2 - Be the product, and be the value. 1 - Be an intentional example that others can sample. Whether it is the video, or just the quick summary, here's hoping this tip reminds you of your moxie and humility! Thank you, and make the most of your moxumility!

Give it Your ALL!

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet)

There seemingly are so many expectations we put on ourselves, and additional demands we allow others to place on us as well. In the long run, all we have is who we are and what we do, so isn't it fair to strip away expectations and demands, and instead be determined to "give it our ALL"?

By giving it your ALL, I mean really owning and enjoying, assessing and sharing your:

Appreciation - being grateful for what you have and happy for others for what they have, and bring to the table as well

Loyalty - having beliefs, knowing you have and give confidentiality, and really developing trust and dependability that is enjoyable and comforting all at once

Laughter - demonstrating the real you, and even laughing at yourself and with others with humor and humility, pride and presence

When you are willing and able to give your ALL, you are in a position to truly experience and engage in ALL that is important to you, for you! So let go of some of those burdensome expectations and demands and replace them with desire and engagement so not only are you giving your ALL, you can get your ALL!!

Collaborative, Constructive Performance Reviews

"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Ken Blanchard, American Businessman

Most of us like feedback...as long as we agree, right? Feedback is a gift when given and received well. As far as work goes, not wanting to give reviews, or feeling critical (leader) and criticized (team member) often comes up regarding giving and receiving feedback to/with employees.

With performance reviews, I encourage you to do the following on a quarterly basis:

Develop competencies for each role (only needs to be done once, and 6-10 competencies is usually best)
Assess the person to the competencies from 1-5 (no half numbers, with 5 being the highest)
Ask the person to assess himself or herself to the competencies from 1-5 (no half numbers, with 5 being the highest)
Share the assessments with each other
Discuss what is going well
Agree on what can be improved
Have an open discussion
Create a plan
Review the plan
Schedule the next quarterly review

I find this allows for input, discussion, coaching, and encouraging...without attacking or being too critical. In the end, the feedback can be collaborative, and a gift, so to speak, for each of you in growing your relationship, your team, and your business!