TLC for You and Me

“When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know.”

- Bill Parcells, ESPN Analyst, Former NFL Coach (b.1942)

Football season is back! It is an exciting time of year for sports fans, as hockey, baseball and football are all available for our viewing pleasure! Bill Parcells is quoted this month because his Sunday pre-game commentary reminded me of what I call TLC for You and Me. It was as though he’d heard me speak or gotten inside my brain. I don’t know, and since I don’t know where it came from, per his quotation, it is a lot different than if I did know that!! So, regardless of what the reason, thanks, Mr. Parcells for reminding me of a worthwhile tip to share this month!

TLC is often thought of as Tender Loving Care, and I appreciate that. For me, TLC is about personal and professional success, and it stands for:

Talent
Leadership
Commitment

Whether it is your family, a sports team, or your work team or business, to be confident in what you know, and get to where you are driving forward to learn what you don’t know as you strive to succeed, you must have the right people handling the things that suit their skills and interests (Talent), the direction and passion to go out and make changes where needed and keep things the same where they are working well (Leadership), and all be working toward the same goal for the same reasons with a common brand and definition of a "win" (Commitment).

As you move forward finishing out the 3rd quarter, take a look at your roster, see who is playing on your team, is the TLC apparent? Do you have the Talent, the Leadership, and the Commitment to get to your goals and make it a winning season for your household, your league, your group or your business? Tweaking the TLC, and letting everyone know all three areas, Talent, Leadership and Commitment combine to be the base that will determine your results, will surely assist you in knowing you are the champions you can be!

Emotions at Work...

“All learning has an emotional base.”
- Plato, Ancient Greek Philosopher He was the world's most influential philosopher. 428 BC-348 BC

Emotions at Work…

Would you agree that often Emotions + Office/Work = Awkward, Uncomfortable, Unpredictable Situations?

When people are express emotions, they are often deemed “emotional”. Is that fair? Is that true? When we are passionate, would we like to be labeled emotional? Likely not.

So, when are emotions appropriate at work or in the office? Or, are they? I say they are appropriate when directed at the common goal of the company or cause, when they are inspirational and inclusive rather than threatening and excluding. Think of emotion as drive, and emotional actions as something different.

In other words, harness your emotions to create a direction and a will to get something accomplished. Spend time, share ideas, get into the nitty gritty from the emotions that compel you. Please do not rant, expect others to agree, and not support something if it is not exactly what you want. The former actions are those of a leader, and someone who is mature, and the latter portrayal highlights immaturity and lack of leadership.

If you, or someone on your team has been considered emotional, please take a moment to reflect on how to re-engineer the emotional perception into the emotional command of the leadership that can result from a passionate person, and see how Emotions + Office/Work = Learning & Success!

Listen More Slowly...

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well." - John Marshall

Do you ever feel like listening is a pain, time-consuming, or just something you are “not good at”? If so, you are likely driven, high-energy, and possibly slightly (I am being kind) impatient. That’s okay, it got you where you are today. If you want to connect further, learn more, and even offer value in how you converse from the listening side, please consider these tips for what I call “listening more slowly” to others:

-Take notes
-Consider the topic and not the person
-Imagine you have to “buzz in” before responding, so that you make a physical motion before opening your mouth
-Ask what or how questions for clarification (watch your tone) before offering your view
-Agree with a person and disagree with an idea (no attacking someone…especially by name)
-Share what you perceive the person is stating and ask if you are on-track prior to sharing an opinion
-Let someone know you would like time to process it (if you have nothing kind to say or you want other information)
-Remember, you are listening to learn, not just listening to respond

By even focusing on listening in a positive way (not saying “I’m just not a good listener”) , your efforts will pay off in improvement. Then, if you incorporate one or all of the tips/tools above, you just might hear something you really like!!

Say It...Even When It's Uncomfortable

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."

~ G.B. Stern, British Novelist, (1890–1973)

Have you ever wished you had the right words, timing and impact? While it would be wonderful to think each of us knows exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it, that simply is not true.
When it comes to compliments and recognition, unstated appreciation does not do anyone much good.
If you are not sure how to say something, consider:

- Leading with the person's name
- Saying something like "Even if this is a bit awkward..." or "While I wish I had exactly the right words...", or "Even though this may seem like it's coming from left field..."
- Sharing the compliment or recognition briefly without a comparison to anyone else or how someone did it in the past
- Moving on quickly by no longer talking about it

How many times have you seen, heard or experienced something done well, and you simply are not sure how to address it, so you don't address it at all? Let that be a thing of the past, and know it is okay to be unsure, and even better to be someone who shares positive happenings with others!

The Environment You Create

“Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” - W. Clement Stone, American best-selling Author and Founder of Combined Insurance Co (now a part of Aon Corp.), 1902-2002)

As a leader, you set the tone...or you allow the tone to be set. For your business, and therefore, your results, that is the environment in which you work. The same is true in life for the environment in which you live.

The way to ensure you are enhancing your work and life with your environment is to do an enviro-check for you, meaning what works for you and what does not, including:
• The surroundings
• The color(s)
• The sounds
• The space
• The culture/attitudes
• The people

While the first four may seem easier to change than the last two, all are important. Where you are, what envelops you as far as color and space, the "feel", and the people all summarize to create either a healthy or non-healthy environment for you.

If you do an enviro-check and all is well, good for you! If you do the check, and it's not so great, then make the subtle or grand changes to ensure your environment is leading you to the approach, the actions, and the results you want (and deserve!)!

The Leadership CAP (Not GAP)

“The purely agitational attitude is not good enough for a detailed consideration of a subject.”

- Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian Prime Minister

(1889-1964)

When caps are not on marker, the marker dries out. Without a cap on one’s head in cold weather, the heat escapes. If there is no cap on spending, budgets cannot be met. Similarly, without the Leadership CAP, things get overlooked.

The leadership CAP is a little different, though. Instead of stopping things or shielding things, the leadership CAP allows for growth, and reveals things by having:

Consideration
Appreciation, and
Perspective

for the person/people with whom you are interacting and/or the situation with which you are involved.

Keeping consideration for those involved and the instances, the appreciation for what has been done (or what you expect to be done), and the perspective on what is realistic, you will remain the leader you (and even more so, others) want you to be, and not the micro-manager some become when they are un-CAPped!

Reviewing Resumes: Yours & Theirs!

“Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?” - Benjamin Franklin, American Statesman, Scientist, Philosopher, Printer, Writer and Inventor. (1706-1790)

Resumes are the predominant American way of stating/sharing work experience as well as someone's potential based on roles held coupled with accomplishments.

In order to ensure you are represented well, and positioned for a speaking engagement or a new opportunity (if you are looking or others are looking at you), consider updating your resume quarterly with quantifiable results. Even if you love where you are, it is a great tool for bringing up talking points during informal reviews or when you are seeking a promotion.

Likewise, as a leader, you either hired or inherited people who were hired at your company/firm. So, dig those resumes out from HR and take a look at each of your team members’ resume once a quarter as well. Every person has talents that are not being utilized, and experiences that may assist with things other than their primary role. Use the resume as a tool for bringing up talking points during informal reviews or when you are interested in learning what goals your staff member has.

Since most everyone has a resume, let’s get them updated, or at least dusted off, to ensure we are not hiding the many talents each of us has!

10 Ways to Compel through Connection!

"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile." - Roger Staubauch

Businessman & Heisman Trophy Winner (born February 5, 1942)

While there is much talk about how to serve clients, below is a top 10 list of ways to truly make a connection. This approach means not just customer service, it means client care. This means not just reacting to a situation, it means responding to the person in the situation. Often we think we want to tell people about something, but that is just chatter, and then we make the attempt to sell them on an idea, but that has a lot to do with convincing and persuasion, and if we reach a level where someone is compelled to work with us and/or partner with us as a client or customer, then we have built a relationship through true rapport!

10. Wow them with your words, and make them ambassadors through your actions. Say what you mean and do what you say you will do. Offer incentives and ask for referrals. Welcome people back instead of asking where have YOU been? No need to discount you or your product, instead, show appreciation with special offers/opportunities.

9. Think and say "Yes, and", and demonstrate an "Absolutely I can" attitude. Start positive and stay positive. Focus on what is RIGHT versus what is WRONG. Be humble in your errors and show moxie in your solutioning. Have fun in what you are doing.

8. Plant the SEED (Strive to Exceed Expectations Denoted) for Success. You have to know what is expected to meet/exceed the expectation. Be humane...not just human.

7. Know your "difference", live your truth and be memorable. Remember the win is not just in getting a customer, it is also about keeping customers. Each client's perception of you and/or your company will determine how well you do this and that perception will depend on how compelling you are to them. Make things a memorable experience. The connection of knowing someone's name and smiling sincerely are great for a start. Leave people with something they either cannot get elsewhere or cannot get in a way you deliver it. Know your 2-4 areas of expertise and stick with them. Otherwise, say "no thank you", and connect, connect, connect as the referral source.

6. Get and Give Feedback. Take notes, use names, and really listen. Listen to understand instead of just to react. If you are a challenged listener, notes will slow your pace. Agree with a person and disagree with an idea (not the other way around). When you survey your clients, and I encourage surveying, share the results quickly and without defense. Own the results and state the actions you'll take...and then do just that!! Address the issue at hand, and then dig into the root cause.

5. Adopt a no-corner-cutting mentality/approach. If you already have one, let everyone know! Our society is about "gimme more"...and what else can I get. Be the one with the integrity to walk away.

4. Give back...for the right reasons. Checks are nice, actions make a difference, and advocacy allows for learning. People like to do business with people who are more than business. Earn their respect and then share about charities/groups for the reason of advocacy and learning, and not just to get recognized or to be a top fund-raiser. Strive for fun-raising instead...and your give backs will get even more!

3. Appropriately Promise and Appropriately Deliver (Instead of Under Promise and Over Deliver or Sandbagging). Be a business of both empowerment and accountability. Offer options...only 2-3 and only those with which you are okay.

2. Strive for inclusivity instead of exclusivity. There is a difference in when people are part of something versus people attempting to "get in" where there is a level of discomfort. Make people feel welcomed and a part of your success.

1. Know that the quality of customer service cannot exceed the quality of the people who provide it. Your team, even if you are a team of 1, will treat others how they are treated. Start with a positive view of you...that view carries far! There is a connection with how we feel about ourselves and how we care for others. Invest in you/your team a set % of earnings, and only let that grow as your success grows!

Pick and choose what works for you in your situation. How can you enhance your customer and client relationships through care and connection? After all, aren't we all about compelling customers and clients to drive Client Satisfaction and Build Lasting Rapport?

Charity for Giving...and Getting!

“Be charitable before wealth makes thee covetous.” - Thomas Browne, Sr.
It’s almost as though the idea of giving back is supposed to be unique and almost auspicious, and yet there are so many simple, yet thoughtful and thorough ways to invest in your community, and really, in the long run, invest in you…from a heart and soul perspective.

By giving back, I don’t mean writing a check (which is terrific, too, so I am not negating the impact, just focusing elsewhere on this blog entry!).

Not sure where/how to give? If you haven’t lately, consider:
• Taking inventory of the things for which you are grateful.
• Recording all the people’s names who positively influenced you and how
• Noting all things you are good at doing.

From those three lists, you will have a clear picture of what means the most to you, how you got there, and an action/sharing you can contribute. Perhaps you are grateful for being healthy, your grandfather was a painter who encouraged you with words and insights, and you are good with a roller…that is a super combination for “Paint Your Heart Out” or another painting style charity. The same would be true for you if you have a love of music, you had a music teacher who inspired you and you are very effective with children…perhaps you volunteer for a church or after-school program about music education.

Whatever your triad of lists reveals, take action on it…and watch the difference you make in your community, with those you impact, and even in yourself. After all, there’s an old adage that reminds us that charity begins at home…let your home base be charitable in a way that works for many!

Time Working FOR You!

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” - Douglas Adams, British comic Writer, 1952-2001

As many of you have heard me say, and it is still true today “there is no such thing as a time lottery”. In other words, nobody experiences the stroke of midnight to find 26 hours in front of him or her for the “next day” while others only get 22…it only feels/seems that way at times (full pun intended!)!

So often the focus is organization, time tracking and even time blocking in your tips, this tip is about remembering to make time work FOR you by not allowing time to recharge to get away from you or become an illusion as mentioned in the above quotation. How can you do that? Below are some items to consider:

-Schedule a “fun lunch” once every month…it is not about work, rather catching up or trying a new restaurant.
-Step away from your office or computer/desk for 10-15 minutes at least twice a day (not just for a meeting).
-Take a different route to/from work one day each week or month to experience (and even appreciate) what you get to see each day.
-Make a meeting request with your workout partner or trainer for 2-5 times a week, and respect it like a meeting (I bet you don’t blow off meetings).
-Take a lunch break…to eat, to meditate, to take a nap, to do a crossword, play a game on your smartphone, etc.

In all these cases, it is about intentionally respecting you and your time, allowing things to be experience, rather than just happen, and be fully engaged. Do whatever it is that allows you to recharge and appreciate/notice the time you are taking and how you are making your 24 hours work FOR you rather than against you or on you each day!

Weekly/Monthly Scorecard

“The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.” - Confucius

So often we think we know what is expected of us, and we believe we have communicated what we expect of others in our office, business, company or firm, and yet, I often hear of and experience miscommunication that leads to frustration and even lost accounts/opportunities. That plays to the timeless adage "inspect what you expect"!

In order to avoid not "being on the same page", please consider a weekly or monthly scorecard for you and for your team members. Like in school when we used to get grades fairly frequently (whether we liked those marks or not!), the scorecard has the following on it:

+The result area
+The goal
+The attainment for the time period
+Plan for improvement/recognition area


By utilizing a clear, quick approach to deliverables, it is far less likely that miscommunication and/or disappointment with performance will take place, and far more likely that the appreciation for the effort will!

Freedom Return On Investment

“Freedom lies in being bold."
-Robert Frost, America Poet (1874 - 1963)

On this, our Independence Day weekend, remember the freedoms most of us want in life, and therefore in our workplace, are those that come from leadership and allow for leadership, those that rise from sincerity, and therefore encourage sincerity, and those that stem from a common goal of growth, learning and success so that each individual, and therefore, the company, can grow, learn and succeed.

These all cost so little financially, and yet offer so much Return On Investment (ROI) in the way long-term investment in yourself and others...

Remember to be bold and afford, encourage and appreciate all the freedoms you have and you embody this holiday, and throughout the year!

Make it a safe, happy and healthy 4th of July!

ABCs of Welcoming

"You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler." - Denis Waitley, American Speaker and Author of Self-help Books. b.1933

Whether it is en route to a gathering or locating a new client, I am typically faced with a location that is either welcoming or not-so-welcoming, and it made me think about the similarities in the places that felt "right", and those that seemed oh-so-wrong...

When you are welcoming people to your home or your business, there are many things to consider including the invitation/meeting request, the directions/familiarity and the time of day/night.

While there may seem like a lot of things either overwhelm or distract you from that welcome, here are the ABCs of making someone feel included and welcomed at your home or your business location (and for some of you, that is one-in-the-same):

A - Approachability. Is your house or building free from debris? Can people see and get to your home or office? Is there a rickety gate or a friendly guard as their first impression? What would you think and feel if you approached your location as someone who had never been there? This A can also be thought of as "Accessibility".

B - Beauty. Sure, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but a lot of people agree on ugly!!! Is there some color or greenery around your place? Is there a brightness and a flow to it? Are there coordinated colors and signage? What is your beauty, or lack of it "saying" to those who approach it? This B can be remembered as your "Brand", too. What is the brand you are conveying? And, is that the brand you want to convey?

C - Cleanliness. Hopefully nobody is bringing their white gloves to do the cleanliness test at your home or office, and yet a at a quick glance, ask yourself: do things appear tidy and clean? Are there dirty or wrinkled papers or displays that are not so hidden from view? Do people get the sense of sight, smell and touch that they can feel good about being in your space? This C can also remind you of the visitor's "Comfort". How comfortable might a stranger, new friend, client or prospect be in your home or office?

Taking a short leap of faith in presuming you want to be welcoming (and I hope you do!), then stick with the ABCs, and even make a trip to your home or office with/through the eyes of a new-comer, and see what you can do to up your welcome and increase your ABC impact on welcoming!

Name that Name - Introducing Yourself

“Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?”

- Groucho Marx, American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977

While many of us meet a lot of people, and have been schooled on the ways to remember names, such as repeating the name three times, asking about the origin of the name, picturing people who have similar names, and/or associating the name with actions/events to connect, I have recently realized many people are not aware of the best way to introduce themselves.

To introduce yourself, first remember the other person’s favorite topic is him or herself, and therefore, s/he is thinking about him/herself and not you. That may seem harsh, and yet it is true.

Since the receiver of your name and handshake is not focused on you, if you focus on that person, you’ll be on “the same page”, so to speak! The best way to introduce is to:

Make eye contact
Smile, or minimally change your expression
Extend your right hand to shake hands
Listen for the other person’s name first
Share your name clearly, slowly and fairly loudly

Then yes, repeat their name, associate, chat and move on. What I am finding does not happen a lot includes: the eye contact, the extension of the hand, the waiting for the other person’s name, and the person sharing his/her name. Wait, that’s everything!!! Primarily people (almost hard to believe) do not state their name – yikes – no name, and yet that is how you will identify the person! If someone does not share his or her name, rather just a(n insincere) “nice to meet you”. Remember, it is not only professional, it is most appropriate to say “And your name is?” with a smile and kindness in your voice, or a pleasant “please forgive me, I missed your name.”

Remember, even if someone else introduces you, please repeat your first name minimally to the recipient of the introduction. After all, you want to be memorable by your name, and not as the person who did not share his/her name!!

Demonstrating Character Vs. "Being a Character"

“Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support and opens the way to wealth, honor and happiness.” - John Howe

If you want to demonstrate leadership with character, before you leave your office and/or your business each night, consider offering/asking these three things to each person with whom you work:


-Do you have the support you want?
-Is there anything I can do to assist you?
-I’m heading out…anything else before I leave?


These added inquiries may create more conversations and even take a bit more time than you anticipated, and yet you will show your character…instead of being the character who ducks out while others are working!!

5 Web-Catchy Ways

“Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else.”

- Ivern Ball, Dadaist Poet

With so many people (students, your team, your clients, your competitors, your customers, your prospects, and your partners) getting information from websites, blogs and other on-line resources, ensure you are writing for web-catchiness by following the three ways to "catch" a reader on the web:

1. Hook Them
Give the "surfer" a reason to become a "reader". Use titles that grab their attention with less than 6 words in the title. Make them catchy (full pun intended here!).

2. Keep Them
Write tight, keep things brief, informative, bulleted and applicable. Cover the topic, reinforce, show application, and be done. Take out words. Use a photo or quotation to drive home a point. Make people want to finish what your "hook" started!

3. Direct Them
You have them there, and they are reading, so ensure you have hyperlinks, an underlined or highlighted word, phrase or web address, so the reader can quickly get more by clicking on the link to your website, another article, etc. Otherwise, if someone doesn't want more, they can skip that link, and it does not seem like so much verbiage to skim.

4. Love Them
Make the time and share the opportunity to recognize students, your team, your clients, your customers, your prospects, and your partners and any other things that are important to your readers. People love to be appreciated, read about themselves and/or things that are important to them.

5. Leave Them
Be done and leave them wanting more! Give a closing comment, challenge, or preview of what is next. Leave them satisfied with what you shared, and interested enough to come back!

Your challenge is to implement this or share it with someone else who manages your web presence and verbiage, and track the results. Be bold, and be available...after all these 5 Web-Catchy Ways may change how someone views you and/or your company, and make these efforts worth the catch!

3 Motivators to Consider

“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark Twain, American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910

In the realm of people seeking employment, businesses wanting more clients and customers, it is important to think about and process/respond to each individual's motivation for what they are doing (or not doing).

Be careful...we tend to think people are motivated similarly to how we are and feel we can "speak their language" as a result...and that is just not always the case, sometimes, it's not even often the case!

People are typically motivated by:

Money (Financial)
Recognition/Advancement (Position)
Time (Freedom)

Consider what drives you, and then incorporate learning, and really caring, about what drives those around you, and those you want on your team as a player or a client/customer. Once you know that, you can assist each person in achieving each of his/her accomplishments by partnering with him/her to get to their financial, position, or freedom goals. Plus, while you are chatting about motivation/drive, a whole lot of other topics might just get covered as well!

Memories Worth Recalling

“Our memories are the only paradise from which we can never be expelled.” - Jean Paul Richter, German Novelist and humorist, 1763-1825

With Memorial Day approaching, it is timely to speak of respect, service, sacrifice and memories. I respect and appreciate the effort and the sacrifice those who have gone before us to allow us to live in the freedom we have, and that is worth writing and sharing every chance we get with our national anthem and pledge of allegiance. Keeping those people, and that idea of appreciating what we have in mind, please do look back fondly and with gratitude, AND, additionally, remember to be intentional about creating memories now that will be worthwhile later.

It’s not often we hear of regrets of what was done, rather we hear much about the regrets of what was not done. Go out in your life, your world, with your family, friends, and/or team, and keep in mind that each day, you are making memories for tomorrow, and ask yourself “Is this something worthy of a fond memory?” Not everything or every act is magical or sacrificial, and yet the overall impact of an encounter, project or activity can be.

So on the eve of this year’s Memorial Day, I honor and thank those we are not here so that we can be. And, I wish you intentional and enjoyable memories that you can relive in your hearts and minds often!

Raise the BAR!

"Interview, Don't clamor for an interview. Instead search for the INNER VIEW. ”
- Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Indian Spiritual leader, b.1926

Whether you are searching for candidates to add to your team, or you are someone looking to make a move in advancing your career, make sure you are raising the BAR on your approach by including the following in your efforts:

Know your core competencies (employers – what you are seeking, potential employee – what you bring to the table), and be able to explain, see and demonstrate them each.

Watch the “likeability” factor. You cannot rely too heavily on it as an interviewee, and you can get burned by falling for it too quickly as the interviewer.

Make all of your assessment quantifiable, meaning employers look for the following in the resume and interview, and potential employees, provide in your interview and your resume the following:

Background – What the situation was; time and place as well as the expectations.
Action – What was done specifically by the individual; nobody is a “we”, and you cannot hire a “we”, it must be “I”, and it must be relatable and repeatable.
Results – The outcome of the actions in quantifiable language (percentages, numbers, hours – think people, time, money, quality) so that there is an assessing of effort and talent.

After all, if you don’t raise the BAR, who will? You are your product, you want the best for your company/business, so keep the BAR high, and measure only to it and above it!

NOW Show You are Really Listening!

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”
- Doug Larson, Cartoonist and Columnist

Ever get distracted in conversations? Even good ones? Yikes, right? Then you start wondering if the other person noticed, and oops, now what was s/he saying?!?!?

The way to get engaged and stay engaged is to do it right NOW:
N – Note strong points on a sheet of paper or through notes on your smart phone or computer. Taking notes engages the sense of touch, and reinforces the sense of sound (hearing) with seeing the words on paper (sight).

O – Offer feedback verbally and non-verbally. Nodding and tilting your head, and allowing facial expressions and other cues to be a part of the conversation will engage your body with your mind. The other person or people in the conversation are “looking” for that acceptance and feedback subconsciously anyway, so it benefits you both.

W – Weigh the options through consideration and questions before simply answering or reacting to the other person. Give the ideas a chance to settle in…even if that means a few seconds of silence. Let the conversation weigh over you so that you are grounded and interacting…and therefore, not distracted.

Getting your NOW mindset for each individual conversation or meeting is a key to communication and leadership success, so go ahead, start really listening…right NOW!!!