Make Your Own Luck!

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

- Seneca, Roman Philosopher

With St. Patrick’s Day nearly here, there is a lot of casual talk about “The luck of the Irish”, and more about being lucky. Even when it’s not the eve of the greenest day around, we often wish people “Good luck!”. Is it luck that is needed to wished or sent your way, or it there a way to create your own luck?

I believe you create such “luck” through the combining preparation and opportunity. The intersection between the two is luck or the good fortune outcome that results from your efforts and the situation!

Both of the factors – preparation and opportunity can be managed. You can consciously, or sometimes even unconsciously, increase the amount of preparation you do. You can also increase the amount of opportunity in which you place yourself. Adding both together, you can dramatically increase the probability of good fortune arising.

Luck still exists when the good fortune outcome defies the odds of preparation and opportunity. Every week someone wins the lottery in spite of infinitesimal odds. And sometimes the best laid plans go awry. But by and large, the degree to which you prepare and place yourself in opportunity’s way are the surest ways to achieve “luck.” So, perhaps instead of wishing people “Good luck”, or attribute something/someone to “being lucky”, we may just want to wish them to “Do your best!”, and compliment them on being prepared and seizing the opportunity! Whatever you decide to say in the future, now I wish a Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you!

20 Seconds to Stress-less-ness

"Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche."
~ Andrew Denton,Australian Producer and Radio Host, b. 1960

Many people are feeling the crunch of work, home and other expectations. That's okay...sometimes that "crunch" becomes a driver, and it pushes us. But, other times, that "crunch" can feel like pressure and evolve into stress. If the latter is ever the case, please consider incorporating the following four quick steps:

1) Taking 3 breaths (in through nose and out through mouth)
2) Picturing something that is calming or sweet to you
3) Holding that thought and continuing that breath for 15 seconds
4) Smiling on the last breath to lock in that feeling of stress-less-ness

Isn't 20 seconds worth making that "crunch" get in line to allow you to stay calm and get the results you want?

Here's to a world that is not stress-free, rather filled with stress-less-ness!

Non-Traditional Organization = Traditional Success!

"Order is the sanity of the mind, the health of the body, the peace of the city, the security of the state. Like beams in a house or bones to a body, so is order to all things."
~ Robert Southey
English poet (1774 -1843)

Recently at a workshop on Assessing and Organizing for the New Year, I shared the following tips and tools. It was asked that I include them in the next newsletter, so here they are!
Often organization can seem daunting, and knowing that, these tips and tools are non-traditional...ways to assist you with organization for you, about you. Please use what fits, and consider incorporating a few as you continue on a successful path for 2012!

Establish a sleep time & a wake time (within an hour each day) for consistent rest. A well-rested mind is an organized mind!
Be a Project Manager (instead of a Project Do-er). Let others shine, and share in the opportunities.
Schedule clean-up time each day or clean as you go. Figure out which suits you, and embrace it.
Have an accountability partner who is supportive, and does not "let you off the hook". Be the same in return.
Schedule a time to return phone calls & emails (instead of constantly interrupting yourself).
Create a decompression routine for the shift from work to home (could be a song, a dance, a "reward", a scent, or a combination of these).
Book weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly appointments now, and schedule work/clients/meetings around those times. Taking care of you is being well and organized for others!
Cut 15 minutes out of each meeting or book starts for 10 or 15 minutes after the hour.
Do some mental fun-ness exercise each day like Scrabble or word search or Facebook - keep it positive!
Do worst things first so you do not procrastinate doing them. Then, reward yourself with doing something you enjoy next.
Recycle. This gives you something organized already.
Workout. People who schedule and stick to workouts are likely organized, energized, and even fit!
Cut yourself some slack. Adopt the "progress...not perfection" motto. This is not lowering the bar, rather celebrating small successes!
Act like a kid again to remind yourself life is fun!
Follow your heart...and your head will follow! Give logic a break once in a while, and let your "gut" be your guide to an emotionally organized approach!

With these non-traditional organizational tools, you will likely find traditional success...and more!

Message Me This...

"A message prepared in the mind
reaches a mind; a message prepared in
a life reaches a life."
~ Bill Gothard, American Clergy, b. 1934

Some of us may remember the days of busy signals and no voicemail options. There were times when if a human being did not connect with you, there was not a way to get a message to someone until the next call or the next day.

We have come a long way!! Still, with the technological advancements, we have gone backwards in some ways with our communication…in particular when it comes to messages for people.

With caller ID and immediacy in mind, often people do not even leave messages when calling anymore. Similarly, people often return calls without listening to a message if one is left.

Please leave a message if you want someone to return your call (instead of assuming that person saw your number and knows to call). And, when you leave your message, let the person know what you are seeking (rather than “Hey, it’s Debbie, give me a call”). This is a consideration of the person’s time, and if done well (with name, number, message, name and number), the person can return the call, and if s/he gets your voicemail, can answer your question and end the seemingly ever-lasting phone-tag that fills a lot of our to-do lists!

Likewise, if you are returning a call, please do listen to the person’s message before calling. This is a courtesy to that person, and, you can answer his/her question and you could end the seemingly ever-lasting phone-tag that fills a lot of our to-do lists!

So, while we get frustrated by not reaching someone, it could be worse, we could be hearing the wonk-wonk-wonk of a busy signal, or incessant ringing! Leave a message…listen to your messages. Having the ability to leave a message and communicate something is a great opportunity for each of us…failing to take advantage of it is not respectful of the technology or either person’s time!

Let Others Shine

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” ~ Proverb

As the successful person you are, you have likely been working for some time (and maybe that has even been a long while) to establish yourself and/or your practice or company. Congratulations on all you have accomplished! With the competitive spirit you have, and the drive you surely maintain, often it is not ego, rather habit that keeps you doing things yourself within your company or group.

Imagine yourself a few years (or more) ago when you were hungry for an opportunity…looking for a break. Did someone give you that shot? Did you feel good about getting the chance to shine?

This day, this week, this month, there is a time when you can either do what you typically do or let someone else have that opportunity to succeed, to do something new, to be the one “out-front”. Will you seize that moment as a leader, and relinquish the “do-er” part of you to allow someone else to get his or her break?

Go ahead, let them shine…after all, it will cost you little, and will be an investment in the leadership of both of you!

The Power of a List

A list is only as strong as its weakest link. - Donald Knuth, American Scientist (b. 1938)

Some of you are really good at making lists...especially "to-do" lists! There is some satisfaction in crossing things off the list for many people. Believe it or not, there are those among us who add things to the "to do" list after having done them...just to get to cross them off the list! Imagine that...

Lists can be good, they serve a purpose in some ways...and only for a certain amount of time. The power of a list is to take each "to-do", and give it a place. Once you make a list, get out your calendar and schedule each item. Even if the schedule takes you into next year or beyond, put those things in their place.

A list without a time and place to do each thing on it, is just your subconscious wondering when, when, when!!!

If we continue to make lists, and more lists, and different lists, we attempt to get organized, and what we really do is potentially fry our minds. Go ahead, make that "to-do" list, and then, right after it, schedule when and where you are going to accomplish those things, and then destroy the sheet on which you wrote your list...and then watch your "to-do"s become the catalyst(s) for action, and the first step in results rather than a piece of paper with lines and lines of things you haven't done!

Child-like Behaviors = Adult Results

“It is the childlike mind that finds the kingdom.” - Charles Fillmore, American Linguist (b. 1929)

When was the last time you acted like a child? Have you been recently you have acted childish? The two are not the same, you know!!! The former I am supporting, and the latter, well, I think you already know about that one…

We mature, responsible adults can get caught up in the seriousness of our adult lives, and yet being all too serious can eclipse the fun that we have to make the time to have! Sure, sure, we have places to be, bills to pay, proposals to finish, a dog that could use a bath, or a room to organize (really, does the list go on and on like that?!?!?), and yet unless we allow ourselves to “play”, we will feel the lack of fun in our personal and professional lives.

I am not promoting skipping an event for which you have RSVPed or calling in sick, rather, either allow yourself “fun time” each day or week for something (somewhat) spontaneous, and/or schedule something childlike or playful each day or each week. Playing can be one of the most important thing we can do for ourselves and for those we want to feel connected to personally and/or professionally. Much research shows children learn the most through active play. Play generates creativity, endorphins, relaxation, heart-rate fluctuations and/or all of the above!

So, make a list of something you can do that is simply fun. If it accomplishes no other goal than having a good time, that alone is enough. You may want to do this with your spouse, partner or team…heck even your whole company! You may want to be child-like all by yourself. That is up to you! Go ahead, get out there and enjoy your day, your week, your life like you did when you had less on your plate, and likely you will feel lighter, better, and even more equipped to tackle those adult responsibilities once you have played…once you have acted like the child you once were, in order to enhance the adult you now are!

How Feedback Really POPS!

“Action may not always bring happiness ... but there is no happiness without action.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS, (21 December 1804 – 19 April 1881)

While we rarely want to get criticized, most of us appreciate constructive feedback…after all, feedback is a way in which we can reflect, take action, and eventually grow. Criticism often just smacks us down, defeats us, or drives us to change just to prove we can.

Well then, how can we share ideas for improvement without taking away from the efforts...and without being too timid?

There are many approaches to sharing insights, including the “kill ‘em with kindness approach the “lay it on the line approach”, and even the “Oreo cookie approach”. In my experience, if you want to really be constructive, professional and effective, consider using the “POPS approach”.

Where the “kill ‘em with kindness approach” can be wimpy and the opportunity to improve can be lost in niceties, and the the “lay it on the line approach” can be overly harsh and direct, and even the “Oreo cookie approach” of having that was rough/wrong first, softened in the middle with something that went well, and then finished with something else that was solidly wrong can still be negative, and even confusing. The POPS approach is:

Positive
Opportunity to improve
Positive
Summarize

In other words, it is the reverse of the Oreo, and therefore is about what is right, and how to enhance/change something in order to be even stronger. If someone gave a talk that was strong and effective, but few people could hear it, the POPS approach would be: “Sue, you had a strong opening with the statistics and that went well. You may want to use a microphone or learn to project your voice, as you had a lot of your audience straining to hear you, and that is the role of the speaker…to be heard. Also, your video clips were powerful and funny. So, stick with your stats, work on volume or a mic, and keep the humor, and you’ll likely have even a more lasting impression on the audience.”

By offering two sincere compliments and one bit to improve twice (one in the statement, and again in the summary), you are likely to be perceived as assisting the person, providing feedback over just criticism, and it will likely make a favorable impression that will lead to change/action versus defense or frustration on the receiver’s part!

Personal Advisory Board

Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present. ~ English Proverb

You are Me, incorporated. You are responsible for you, your happiness, your direction, your actions, and eventually, your results!
Whether you own your business, are a partner in a practice, work for a firm, or simply want direction in whatever you are doing, you may be lonely, looking for direction, or simply enjoy a sounding board of sorts! This is where a Personal Advisory Board (PAB) comes into play…

A PAB is a group of people you like, admire, trust and respect, who want the best for you and have other expertise/perspective than you do. The PAB consists of whomever you like, and I find it is most successful when you have no more than 10 people on it, and minimally, you have the following roles defined:

Driver – someone to whom you are accountable (likely a spouse, partner)
Cheerleader – someone who sees the good in you and most things, who believes you can do most anything (could be your parent or best friend)
Strategist – a business person who has a perspective of what may or may not work, timing and opportunities (someone you admire for his or her big picture thinking)
Problem-solver – someone who is a detail person who looks for resolve instead of conversation (a go-to person for issues)
Mentor – someone in your industry who can assist with industry or company issues (they have expertise in your field)
Coach – someone who can ask the what and how questions and give ideas from other similar situations (not a friend, could be a professional coach, a former teacher of yours, someone you trust and confide in from personal to professional issues – not part of your industry, likely)

The Personal Advisory Board members are not financially compensated, but you may want to consider a special gift of thanks each year for your Board. Your PAB can be a yearly requested role for a person that starts in January or February and ends in December, as you do not want to overstep your request, or for someone to overstay his/her influence. Set the request, expectations and time up front, so each requested Board member can decide if there is a fit for him/her. You likely will interact with your PAB once a quarter in a meeting in person, via the web or phone, and you may chat with them in between. Ensure your dates and times are set at the onset of the PAB requests.

Often we find ourselves needing advice and counsel, or we are just misdirected. With a Personal Advisory Board, often the distractions or misfires can be avoided, or minimally calmed and repositioned to ensure success and growth in the year ahead!

Be Resolved

“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” - Helen Keller, American Author and Educator who was blind and deaf. 1880-1968

Happy New Year! As many of you know, I am not a fan, proponent, or practitioner of New Year's Resolutions. I am not knocking you if you like them, either...

For this start of a new year, rather than resolutions, please consider being resolved to:

Be true to you and your family
Think people first and money second in business
Know your personal brand, and don't compromise it for others
Recognize your strengths and your opportunities to improve...and work in/on both
Consider the other person's perspective prior to reacting to him or her
Decide that you are going to celebrate progress, and not just focus on perfection
Leave work early if you used to stay way too late, or stay late if you used to leave way too early
Be your own biggest fan...and be someone else's big fan, too
Have a mantra that works for you, about you, and that you say to yourself for your own pep talk
Assess what is important for you this year, verbalize it, see it happening, take action, and enjoy the results


If those 10 are minimally part of your plan, I anticipate you will be resolved to be productive, happy, contributing, learning, and lovin' life...and what better plan for the year could there be?!?!?

Cheers to an outstanding 2012,

Debbie

RIP 2011 (Reflect, Inspect, Project)

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” ~ Peter F. Drucker, American Educator and Writer, b.1909

As we wrap up the wonderfully active and interesting year of 2011, please ensure you are not just passing the days and nights in hopes of a better tomorrow or next year. At the same time, let’s not get caught in the afterglow of what was.

During the last portion of an experience, project, or yes, even a year, it is well-serving to schedule time to do what I call Reflect, Inspect and Project (RIP).

As you work through the RIP process, allow time (and discussion if including others) on the past experience, project or year by sharing 1st REFLECT on what were the highlights, then what were the low-lights, and also, how to avoid the low-lights in the future while creating more highlights. This is where you can have 20/20 hindsight for the past. 2nd, INSPECT where you are right now, and if there is anything left undone or unseen, not communicated, or somehow vague. This is where you really look at the present. 3rd, PROJECT by looking ahead in weekly, monthly, quarterly, semi-annually or annual time tables. Decide what you want to do, by/with whom, for what reason, and note how you will measure success. This is your look to the future.

As simple as it may seem, by touring the past, present and the future through reflection, inspection and projection, you can often appreciate what you have, finish what you started, and get energized and focused on what is to come.

Thank you for an amazing and enjoyable 2011…here’s to much more in 2012!

Toasting - Part of a Bigger ACT

“The strongest and sweetest songs yet remain to be sung.” - Walt Whitman

With all the gatherings, and perhaps some eating and drinking going on, toasts are often just a simple “Cheers!”, and while that is okay to hear and say, a toast can still be simple, and yet be part of a bigger ACT!

If you want to feel good about your presentation, allow your guest(s) to know you care, and set the mood for the experience, consider using the following to take ACTion with the toast:

A – Acknowledge the reason you are together
C – Connect the event with other feelings or thoughts (2-4)
T – Talk specifics

An example for a work event is:

Tonight we are here for our holiday party!

This party is to appreciate you, celebrate the year we have had, and look forward to sales and service in the future.

Thank you to each of you for your work, thank you to our customers and clients, and thank you in advance for a great 2012!

Cheers, and enjoy the party!



Something for Hanukkah is:

Today we are together to celebrate Hanukkah!

Hanukkah is about reflecting on what we have, showing appreciation for the abundance that we don’t expect, and about gathering and being together.

So, here is to the delicious meal we are about to enjoy, for the health and well-being we each are experience, and to every one of you who chose to share in this celebration with us!

Cheers, and Happy Hanukkah!



Another example for Christmas is:

Today we are here to celebrate Christmas!

Christmas is a time to think about new beginnings, our perspective, and the way we treat others.

So, here is to a new year nearly upon us and a great one to remember, a belief in ourselves, and to being kind to others throughout the year!

Thank you for joining us, and Merry Christmas!



Similarly, for New Year's, you have:

Tonight is the last night of 2011!

2011 has been a year of more ups than downs, one of much news, and a time we will all remember.

Here’s to all of our fond memories together, to making our news “good news”, and to making more memories with one another.

Cheers to closing out 2011, and to welcoming in 2012!!



Whether you toast with “Cheers”, or you make your toast part of a bigger ACT, here’s to you, and safe, enjoyable celebrations this holiday season!

Get the SCORE

"The one exclusive sign of thorough knowledge is the power of teaching." - Aristotle

Often people want us to "check this out" or "take a look at this" because they "thought this might be interesting", and while that may seem thoughtful to them, it becomes a TO-DO for us!

When you have a team sharing things, ask for the SCORE before accepting what they are passing along. The SCORE is:

S - State. State what they are sending, not just "FYI"
C - Cover. Cover 2-4 points about the article, company, opportunity, person, etc. that they deem of interest.
O - Offer. Offer their ideas on the way it works, doesn't work, fits, doesn't fit, potential ways to use or avoid it.
R - Reference. Get them to reference their suggestion of what to do moving forward. What is his/her preferred next step?
E - End. What is the summary statement overall in what they plan to do or want you to do.

Since we teach people how to treat us, the same SCORE tip is true for you when you are sharing with others...family, friends, colleagues or team members, as getting the SCORE up front could mean a win later!

Attitude of Appreciation

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate."

~ Elbert Hubbard, American editor, publisher and writer, 1856-1915

Many of us use 'thankful' and 'grateful' interchangeably, and they are different by most definitions, and yet similar in some ways. Thankfulness is about a sense or feeling to be pleased or relieved over something that happened. Gratefulness is about showing appreciation for something someone has done for you.

So as not to get caught up in semantics, let's instead approach each day, each person with an attitude of appreciation. Appreciation, after all is the combination of being thankful and expressing gratitude.

After all, our attitude is the only thing we can fully control.

There is an ease to being appreciative when things go the way we want them to go. The real challenge and true opportunity is when we can stretch to be appreciative of what does not go the way we anticipated. Remember to allow the feeling, and express it outwardly in order to engage in the full act of appreciation.

Sound nutty? It is in that filling way nuts can offer flavor and give you some nourishment. The ability to see through a situation and get the learning, is something that nourishes the soul and feeds our growth. Being appreciative in the midst of adversity or disagreement or challenge is being thankful it is not worse, and grateful for what comes out of it for you...regardless of what others attempt to influence or change.

As we finish our leftovers and start on the holiday shopping and sharing, please include appreciation on your daily list of activities!

Giving Thanks!

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire

Thankfulness is something we tend to talk about and celebrate primarily in November in The United States of America. Still, thankfulness and appreciation for an act or abundance need not be reserved for days when turkey is traditionally served.



Regardless of your religion, position in life, or state of mind, often we are with others in groups around events and/or celebrations. When with others during special occasions, holidays, or every day, simply be thankful for them this way:



State his/her name (or nickname...it’s okay with family/friends...avoid nicknames in business), You make me thankful for you because of your (attribute) and you inspire me to (their inspiration to you). Thank you.



Example I: Danielle, you make me thankful for you because of your creative wit and you inspire me to be playful. Thank you.



Example II (with varied verbiage): Steve, you make me thankful for your generosity and you make me want to be a giving person as well. Thank you.



Example III (letting someone know you acted as a result of them/their inspiration): Carol, you make me thankful for you because you taught me to listen well and because of you, I became a Big Sister. Thank you.



Example IV (a strictly professional affiliation): John, you make me thankful for your loyalty and because of your referrals, you have been a part of my business/sales growth. Thank you.



Note that the word “I” is not used as the first word (or really much at all). This is to ensure the other person knows it is about him or her and for him or her. Keep you thankful, and that other person in the forefront of the message and thankfulness.



Go ahead, use one or all of these with people for whom you are thankful...on a special day...or any day...and see how it makes a difference for you and the person with whom you shared! Happy Thanksgiving!

4 E’s to Idea-Sharing

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha, Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

So often we are in meetings, or sessions where ideas are requested and shared, or not requested, yet still shared. What makes some of them worthy of hearing out, and others fall on deaf ears, so to speak? Often it is in the approach, the amount of time spent, and the ability to stop talking (or inability to stop talking) about an idea that makes one decide whether or not to listen!

Here are the 4 E’s to Idea-Sharing that just may get your voice heard:
E – Explain. Share the concept briefly and seek acknowledgement. Make sure you have people’s attention first, and you can give the details later. Show enthusiasm, control, direction and passion.
E – Elaborate. Once you have people’s interest, then you can go into more details. A wonderful way to elaborate is with a scenario (what if…), a story of how it has worked in the past, or by bulleting or numbering steps that it would take to put the idea in place.
E – Execution. Demonstrate the realm of executing your idea. Include people, time, budgets and more quickly and concisely to give people the sense that this idea can/will become a reality if selected rather than just keeping it a theory.
E – Exit. Allow the idea to be tabled, considered at a later time, or dropped. The worst thing is “selling through the close”, when someone keeps going on and on when an idea has been adopted or quelled and the originator of the idea simply will not let the conversation end. Note the body language, temperature and interest while you are speaking and note when enough is enough.

By following the 4 E’s to idea-sharing, it does not mean each idea will be implemented, rather it shows effective communication, a professional approach, and respect for the time of the listeners…and likely that means more of your ideas will get heard rather than seem like fleeting ideas for others when you get to your next meeting or brain-storming session!

The Power of a BYE List

Our thoughts create our reality - where we put our focus is where we tend to go."


- Peter McWilliams, writer and self-publisher of best-selling self-help books (1949-2000)

The invitations are aleady coming. Turkeys are being bought. Families are preparing for "that" uncle or "that" aunt who does "such-and-such" each year during the holidays. Wow, the holidays are nearly here!

Before you get too caught up in the idea of stuffing and shopping, please consider creating a BYE list. This BYE list will include all you want to do
Before
Year
End

If you make a list of events, people, experiences, and travels, you can decide what is realistic for the amount of time you have before you are ringing in 2012. For the BYE list, start and finish it within 48 hours, and ask anyone with whom you spend a lot of time (spouse, family, friend) to do the same. After you complete it, prioritize those items on the list, and meet with anyone else you asked to make the BYE list. In doing this, you will learn about you, learn about the other person/people, and you can decide what you will do together and what you will do alone or with other people. From there, get out your calendars (phones/iPads), and make the commitment to what you want to do so that you are not standing somewhere on New Year's Eve wishing "if I only had", and excusing it with "but the holidays were so busy".

Go enjoy the things on your list, and make the most of the next 50+ days before 2011 has gone BYE!

LESS Stuff Means So Much MORE!

“Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of." - Josh Billings, 19th century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw (21 April 1818 – 14 October 1885)

More often than not, the old adage of "less is more" rings true. When there is a drive for the opposite (that is the "more is more" mindset), remember that in those instances, "more" is likely just "stuff"...and who really needs more "stuff"? While the holidays season is upon us (and it has been for weeks in the stores, hasn’t it?), this is the perfect time for de-cluttering, and assessing whether or not you really want more “stuff” this year. By going through your office, closets, garage and more, you are likely going to be far more organized than you have been in the past at this upcoming seemingly sure segment of more-things-less-time! An added benefit to your knowing what you have is that it will also reveal what you want for your home life or business in order to be most prepared, effective and efficient as you round out the year. Perhaps the biggest benefit will go to others in that you can donate now (not December 31st) for/to people who can utilize it during the upcoming winter months (and even give you a deduction for your taxes and an increase in your connection to the community). So, go ahead, get rid of the “stuff” that is cluttering your space, and make room for what you want…organization and giving!

Pace Yourself

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” - Henry David Thoreau, American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862

At some point we were just dependent on others for where we went…our direction, our speed, and even our destination.

Then, we started to crawl. At that point, we were applauded, cooed, and even photographed making a new way for ourselves. We crawled to and fro, and while we had a little bit more control of our pace, and a little over our direction, really, others were still determining our destination.

We started walking, and watch out, the pace quickened…and so did the desire for others to set our pace…walk faster, slow down, get up, sit down…they were all commands that were heard frequently. More applause, and more expectations from others...still, the photos and pride kept coming!

From there, we learned to run…almost as quickly as we walked, we attempted to dash about, and often it was true that the faster our pace, the harder the fall. Still, we kept running, for the times we did not fall, we reached that destination faster…and we started really having input on our destination (mostly because we could “get away” from people with our agility and size!). At that point, either the photos were blurry, or our advancements were less impressive to others, so the pace was not rivaled by photos.

So I ask you now: Who is controlling your direction, your speed, and even your destination? Are you setting your pace for you that is realistic and attainable…challenging while not insurmountable?

Whether you are crawling or walking, running or even sprinting in your life, your business, and/or with your family, I am not suggesting your "should" be at a particular pace, rather, please consider your pace for you, your business and/or your family. Is the pace at which you are moving allowing for both enjoyment and progression? If so, sounds like you are setting a sound “you-pace”, and if you are not balancing the fun and the forwarding, set a different pace. Either add something/someone, or remove something/someone from your “to do list”, and let your pace work for you instead of against you. Allow yourself to be dependent and driven your-way for where you are going, your direction, your speed and ultimately, your destination!

Similar Does Not Mean “The Same"

“I'd never just want to do what everybody else did. I'd be contributing to the sameness of everything.”
- Don Van Vliet (Artist and Musician, b. 1941)

When we are leading in our families, our businesses or teams, we seek to find likeness, and often rely on our past experience to guide us into the future.

Our past must be our guide in most cases, as it is our experience. And, after all, our experiences couple with our values to create our beliefs. Our beliefs are what guide us to our thoughts, words, and ultimately, our actions.

Remember, though, in this attempt to quickly process, and even group people and ideas together, that similar thoughts and actions are not the same thoughts and actions. It is useful to compare and contrast for familiarity and reference sake, and yet it is irresponsible and even dangerous to presume sameness. In thinking “I know exactly…” or “I have seen this before” quickly and often, we may miss out on the nuances of the differences…that which may make one very unique when allowed to be unique.

When you seek similar success or to avoid similar obstacles, keep the similar at the forefront, and resist lumping things into the sameness of speed and familiarity. Having the perspective of how we process and group things will remind you that leading is sometimes about the sorting and recognizing what is not alike as much as it is about being able to identify what is!