Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Presentation Prowess: Know and Own Your DEMEANOR!

"I have fun out there on the court, smiling, laughing, trying to have good demeanor."
~ Stephen Curry

Whether you have experienced seemingly overwhelming fear or distracting nerves, your confidence will come from your interest, your preparedness, and your handling of the situation. Confidence will also likely come with time. With time being of the essence, let's tackle what you can impact and own yourself through your DEMEANOR:

D - Decide you believe in you. After all, the audience wants you to succeed, and whoever hired or asked you to speak believes you are a great choice.

E - Eye Contact. Look at the audience. Let the audience know you want to see them. Being connected through your eyes will give you insight (no pun intended), and eventually calm you through that feedback. Stay engaged with one person through a full thought/sentence in order not to look jumpy. Do not look over the crowd, as many early public speaking instructional suggested. People can tell you are not making eye-contact, and either judge you as 1) aloof, or 2) scared...neither of which are good for you! Move on from one person after a thought is completed, so as not to appear you are having a personal conversation, and/or that you are alienating everyone else. Additionally, you want to move on to include everyone in the audience and never give one person the stalker-effect where you keep hanging on them throughout a full segment or talk. Work eye contact in reverse if someone is being disruptive or talking with someone during your presentation. Resist the "dagger eyes", and instead, move close to the disruptive audience member without eye contact or comment...even sit on the table where the person is acting out, and watch/hear how the disturbance will be softened or stifled, without a word or becoming the "school marm" asking for silence.

M - Managing the Room. Talk with others as you check out the space. Walk around during your presentation. Make sure everyone can hear your voice. By stating something like "I take it you are assertive/professional/bold (your choice) enough in the back to let me know if you cannot hear me. I like that about you!" shows that "moxumility"Ô again by showing the moxie to mention it and the humility to offer a solution. It's even better than asking people sitting in the back "Can you hear me in the back?" If you are comfortable with your materials and your projection, you may want to lower the volume to draw people in, and then raise the volume to make key points and show emphasis. As long as you can picture, feel and hear your voice filling the space and the minds of the audience, you can do it!

E - Enthusiasm. Being enthusiastic does not mean you have to be loud; nor does it mean you should be loud. Enthusiasm is a confidence in you and your topic, a respect for yourself and your audience, and an energy that exudes from you that can be read...and even be contagious! A smile and sincerity are your two best assets in showing enthusiasm, and allowing others to appreciate your style.

A - Appreciate your opportunity to speak. Acknowledging your excitement/enthusiasm is not only okay, it is encouraged. Being too laid back can present as cockiness instead of calm. Say something like "Thank you for including me". Be sincerely appreciative of your opportunity. People want others they connect with to do well.

N - Normalize your situation. Eat well, be rested, wear what is appropriate, comfortable, and is true to the audience, activity and you. Have a mantra for your mental calmness. (I use my personal brand sometimes, and other times I simply repeat "You are engaged, you are engaging, they deserve the best you!") Whatever you connect with that is a fit for repeating internally that is positive and focused, is a healthy mantra for you.

O - Offer intonation in your voice and movement in your presentation. Pace and tone changes that are not too wishy-washy or high pitched both offer variety, and therefore keep people's attention.

R - Relax yourself naturally. Meet a lot of people prior to going into the room or up on stage. Be "that person" who is welcoming, friendly, and approachable. Breathe deeply before going "on". Keep breathing intentionally and deeply (watch the noise if you have a lavaliere microphone!!) to keep your voice and pace in control. Have room temperature water close at hand, and ensure you hit the restroom before your presentation (one, to go to the bathroom, and two, to check your appearance).

Your DEMEANOR is your style. Let your demeanor convey your nerves as confidence, and your eagerness as energy, and let your passion for your presentation wow the audience in a way that is respectful, rewarding, and warrants a terrific response!

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Lift Others Up!

"We rise by lifting others."
~ Robert Ingersoll

When you hear something you enjoy, or see something you like, how often do you make the effort to share that feeling with the person, or people who created the experience? And yet, wouldn't that lift that person's spirits, and perhaps make his or her day?

The act of making an effort to say thank you to those who make things happen, even if it is "their job", has far more rewards than the seconds or moments it takes to express your appreciation.

Make an effort to be uplifting once each day. While at first, you may find you are looking for something worthwhile, soon, should you make it a habit, you will see, find, and even subtly encourage, these actions on a regular basis without much effort at all!

Lift others up, and watch how you feel lifted by the observations, the experiences, and the sharing of gratitude with others!

Friday, July 6, 2018

Audience Engagement When Presenting

Participation and More

A talk or presentation is typically best with engagement of the audience, and that means participation of some sort.

Here are a few ways to positively engage your audience:

  • Meet people prior to the talk, or greet them if you already know them
  • Walk around the room
  • Make eye contact
  • Ask a question and raise your hand as you are asking, so the audience knows you want their input
  • Ask a question with "Who'll be the first to guess at..." so people know their guesses are okay, and then, when someone answers, repeat the guess and thank him or her without judgement
  • Ask "Who wants to start us off?" and wait, rather than "picking on someone to answer something
  • When someone starts responding, when he or she is done, ask that person "Who would you like to hear from next?" so that you are not calling on someone
  • Use a fun object, or even a wadded up piece of paper as the talking prop that when someone has it, she or he has the floor - let people know you throw the object to, not at, others
  • Call people by name
  • Be sincere in your interaction
  • Make the effort and have fun (without making fun of anyone other than yourself)

When you choose to engage your audience in positive ways, they feel safe, enjoy, and tend to want to be a part of the information sharing with you!

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Resisting Regret!

"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
~ Laurence J. Peter
Canadian Writer.
 (1919 - 1990)

Regret is powerful. Regret is costly. Regret has no positive value. Regret has options.

Should you find yourself in a place where you feel bad about something you said or did in the past, or, should you find yourself sensing a bad feeling or remorse about something you did not say or do in the past, give yourself a chance to not live in regret. Accept that your behavior negatively affected you, a situation, or others around you. You may sense guilt, self-doubt, your worthiness, and even think you cannot overcome it. You can, you will, and you may even learn from it!

Consider the following approaches instead of, and in replacement of, regret:

1) Turn regret into a reset! Let yourself feel - your feelings are legitimate, real, and they are yours - you need not ignore or suppress them immediately.

2) Turn your regret into a reality check!

Gain a perspective of the past, and know that there is where that behavior lives/lived.

3) Turn your regret into a resolution! Gather a sense of moving forward,and resolve to live in the present as you move ahead.

4) Turn your regret into a recognition! Realize what you have done incorrectly and apologize for it to those impacted (with no excuses or rationalization).

5) Turn your regret into reassurance! Share what you have learned and make a commitment to yourself and others not to make the same misstep again.

6) Turn your regret into release! Forgive yourself ad release the guilt and negative self talk, as it is not doing anything positive for you (or anyone else).

7) Turn your regret into re-engagement! Make yourself available for openness, vulnerability, learning and more - with all your heart, and all your hope that people will accept your regret turnaround readily and with resounding support!

With these seven simple, reasonable approaches, you will not be looking back, and yet, if you did, regret would be in the rearview mirror!

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Ask, Don't Assume

With technology making staying in touch readily available and accessible, and that can be great, what isn't great is when someone assumes how to contact you and/or pay you.


When you meet someone with whom you want to engage, ask him or her "If it is appropriate, I'll follow-through on our conversation...would you prefer a call, text or email?", and then use that preferred method.


Similarly, when paying for services or splitting a charge with someone, ask what form of payment works best, as there are many, so saying something similar to "Okay, so I owe you $XX, and I'll get you that by tomorrow. Do you prefer Zelle, PayPal, Venmo, or ApplePay?" is smart, as not everyone uses all forms of payment, and if not set up, have hoops to jump through to access what is rightly his or hers.


Asking, and not assuming, works well in life in general. Respecting preferences and noting choices makes for good rapport-building and good relationships, so in contact, payment, and other things, do ask, don't assume!

Friday, June 15, 2018

Phase Out Some Phrases...

"Silence is better than unmeaning words." 
~ Pythagoras
Greek philosopher and the eponymous founder of the Pythagoreanism movement. 

Words matter.

The use of words becomes as much as a habit as brushing our teeth, and if we do not consider that meanings change over time, and the implication of what we say (and how we say it) have an impact on others, we may be sending the wrong message...unintentionally.

Here are some words and phrases to please consider phasing out. These are not pet peeve words, rather these tend to conjure up negative or off-putting ideas for some/many, and while not everyone will find them problematic, wouldn't it be nice to avoid the potential and amp up your effectiveness anyway?

Phrases to Phase Out      Replacement Verbiage
We'll just agree to disagree
While we may not agree on this, let's respect each of us has our reasoning and neither is wrong
Kind of
(nothing - simply be specific)
You don't understand

You need to
Would you consider?

I am counting on you to...
Relax/Calm down
What can I do to assist?
Some find/agree...
For those of you who know me, I am...

I'd like to introduce you to...
I am

Please meet
It is what it is
Here's where we are, and here's the approach I am taking
I don't care
Whatever you prefer/Your preference works for me

By shifting your phrases, you ensure others, and you, know where you are, where you are going, and you have clear messaging for moving ahead!

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Compete with Yourself, Not Others

"Do your work with your whole heart, and you will succeed - there's so little competition."
~ Elbert Hubbard
American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher. Raised in Hudson, Illinois, he had early success as a traveling salesman for the Larkin Soap Company.
(1856 - 1951)

When people ask about being competitive, it conjures up ideas of being cut-throat, win-at-all-cost, aggressiveness for some. Instead of that image of what can be quite negative, shift to the positive and think of competition as being your best.  Your best you is the best competitor in sports, life, business, attitude and actions!

If we set our sites on "beating" another person or company in a sport or business conquest, we can feel demeaned if we don't "win" or can lack compassion and humanity in how we attempt to "not lose". External competition for records and opportunities can be very positive...as long as they don't get personal in the way that the person is lost in the goal.

How to keep things competitive, positive, and personal in the way it is about achieving yourself and not exceeding another person is accomplished by setting goals that relate to self and individual actions. Knowing where your strength, your weight, your medical numbers, your work output, your relationships, and more are now, and assessing them for satisfaction 1st, and potential 2nd, creates a now and later effect, meaning, you have a baseline, and then you can set a goal.

Striving for a goal where you can "win" in spite of nobody else "losing" is a health-minded approach to competition. So go ahead, take a look in the mirror, record where you are now, and get competitive...with yourself, make a plan, achieve the goal of being the best you!

Thursday, May 17, 2018

TAKE Criticism Well

Some people provide feedback, and most, who offer us "advice" sadly, provide it in the form of criticism. Even if it is constructive, sometimes it can be hard to swallow!

When you get either feedback or criticism, instead of defending it, TAKE it well, meaning, implore the approach of:

T - Thank the person or share "That's something I hadn't thought of"
A - Ask for clarification or an example if it's not clear
K - Keep calm & focused on how you can learn/grow from this
E - Explain in terms of feedback what you'll do

Once you learn to TAKE criticism, it become useful, and not so much of critical from the other person as it is a consideration on your side!

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Meet People Where They Are

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." 
~ Carl Jung
Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology. His work has been influential not only in psychiatry but also in anthropology, archaeology, literature, philosophy, and religious studies. 
(1875 - 1961)

While it can be hopeful to anticipate someone's potential, and reflective to think about what we used to do when we were in a similar position historically in our career/life, it is a challenge, at times, to meet people where they are...and not where we think they are, or where we wish they were!

Personally and professionally, being willing to see people for whom they are, and for what they are doing, serves us well. While that is a simple concept, doing it is not necessarily easy, as we can be overly optimistic, overly pessimistic, or simply unrealistic.

Before determining what to say or do with someone in any situation, remember to see him or her for the person he or she is, and not what you want them to be or hope they'll be. That can be time consuming...and even lead to the proverbial tongue-biting! Ways to accomplish "meeting people where the are" include:
1) Consider the situation & the options
2) Consider what the person wants to do and not do
3) Discuss options openly (not in a directive way)
4) Ask for reasoning and share yours
5) Offer perspective through stories
6) Keep the others from harming themselves or others in their decisions/actions
7) Let the person make his or her own mistakes and make for his or her own success

Meeting someone where s/he is will allow for leading with empathy while allowing others to grow!

Friday, April 13, 2018

Control the Controllables!

Life is a series of choices. How we respond to things and people is a choice. We can control ourselves and our responses.

We cannot control others, the weather, or much else,a nd that does not mean we are out of control or uncontrollable!

We can choose to be mindful of our perspective, expectations, joys and disappointments, and that will impact our outcomes. Our outcomes are within our control when we embrace the idea that we control how situations and personalities impact us. Decide to control the controllables within you, and in effect, you are deciding to let go of those whom, and that which, you cannot control!

Control the controllables...choose to control YOU!

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Making Amends

You made a mistake. You said or did something you regret. You were self-centered, or thoughtless. And, now, and perhaps for a while, you owe someone you care about an apology.

Making amends is not easy, and yet here is a simple approach to the challenging experience:
1) Think about the other person and not simply you
2) Approach the other person in private, and even schedule time with him/her
3) Be sincere
4) Share that you erred and you are owning it
5) Apologize for the act and your actions - not how the person interpreted the situation or might feel, and ASK for forgiveness and a fresh start
6) Expect nothing, and accept whatever the person shares
7) Be grateful for getting to voice your view, and give the other person time to process

Stay focused, humble, willing and open as you attempt to make amends in order to be true to your relationship, the other person, and to yourself.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

The Value of Vulnerability

"When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability."
~ Brene Brown
American Professor at University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation - Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work.
(b. 1965)

Often leaders are described as charismatic, smart, visionaries, and vulnerable. Sadly, many of us work, yes, work, at not letting anything detract from our impression on others as someone who "has it all together", meaning there is nothing that can shake us, and that things are nearly perfect! The reality is nobody is perfect, and nothing goes perfectly all the time. We have fears, disappointments, missed opportunities and more. We are human, and as humans growing, we are vulnerable people.

Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability and exposure provide an opportunity to find strength, to bond with others, and to learn from situations and people. Vulnerability is real, and really important.

Sure, sharing everything is not appropriate. Sharing some things - challenges and past experiences, ways you've overcome push-back and set-backs, and choices you've made, all allow others to get to know you and get a chance to potentially learn from what you've experienced.

When you think you'll look foolish, "less-than" or weak, remember that sharing in a positive, non-complaining, realistic way, that is vulnerability, and that is leadership. There's great value in that. So, be a leader and be vulnerable!

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Expressing Appreciation in a Note

"Thanks" is nice, and "Thank you" is great, too. Still, saying words of gratitude are not the same as sending words of gratitude.

Yes, say your thanks at the time of your experience, post gratitude (and even a photo) on social media, too. And then, consider sending a hand-written note to the person or people who have impacted you with a gift, a kind word, including you at an event, or even simply the way s/he has presented him or herself at a meeting or talk.

To make the best impression in the note, please:

Start with a greeting and the person's name (we don't use names very often any more)
Skip starting the first sentence with I (makes it about you and not the recipient)
Offer something special you gained from him/her
Close with an uplifting message
Sign it following a sign-off, such as "With gratitude" or something else
It's not ever to late to show appreciation, and while someone receiving the note two days to one week following your exchange is recommended, dig out those nice notecards and get moving! Here's an example:

Hello Joe!
What a spectacular evening it was Friday! Thank you for including me at your table of so many wonderful leaders.
It will be pleasure to follow up with each of them to share how much we each appreciate you.
With gratitude, make it a productive and enjoyable week!

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Happy People Experience Challenges

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
~ Albert Schweitzer
French-German theologian, organist, writer, humanitarian, philosopher, and physician.
(1875 - 1965)

Too often people look to others for their happiness. Happiness does not come from others, or from external influences, rather happiness comes from within.

Happy people are happy. Happy people choose to be happy. They laugh, they smile, they share in the joy of others, and they are happy for the success of people who are thriving!

Still, happy people experience challenges. Happy people get disappointed. Happy people get down, and happy people get distracted. The difference in happy people experiencing these challenges is that happy people know they are challenges, categorize them as such, and they allow themselves to get, grieve, process, and flow through the emotions that come with the challenges. Happy people, truly happy people, do not act like all is okay, or fake their feelings. They may only share them with a few, and yet most importantly, they are honest with themselves about what is happening and how to overcome and learn from what is in front of them.

So remember, you may see a happy person with a look of concern or disappointment, surprise or dismay, and yet that same happy person will show resilience and belief in what lies ahead instead of staying where they are for that moment. They happily traverse the rough waters to get to higher ground and moments of joy. They choose to be happy, and therefore, they are. Choose happiness in the up and down times. Choose happiness in the celebrations and the defeats. Choose happiness in life!

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

By the Numbers: Forwarding Goals

"I'm looking forward to the future, and feeling grateful for the past."
~ Mike Rowe
American actor.
(b. 1962)

Goals are often set at this time of the year, and as long as they are for advancing realistic plans, purposes, and growth, goals are worthwhile and rewarding.

There are many ways to enhance goal achievement. Three insights to consider include the following "by the numbers":

Speaker Jim Rohn famously said "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Considering that, to achieve your goals, surround yourself with 5 people who are your personal board of directors, including a cheerleader (believes in you no matter what), a confidant (listens and does not share), a critic (shares ways to improve without concern) advisor (shares advice to assist you), and someone who you aspire to be like (aspiration can serve as inspiration).

20 minutes maters. Whether it is about outlook or mood, how you spend 20-minutes makes a difference. Start your day with 20 minutes of positivity and action that will lead you to positive results. If you feel like you don't want to do something, commit to 20 minutes of effort with the attitude that you will get something done, and you will shift your mood and energy by the time that 20 minutes is complete. Likely you will continue to move ahead as a result.

28 days creates a habit. Some say it's 21 days, and yet I believe it's 28 (perhaps the last 7 are for good measure). Doing something repeatedly for 28 consecutive days (note that is not 3 days on and 2 off with 17 on, four off, and then 8 days, rather it is day after day for 28 sleeps in a row )means you have the best opportunity to continue with commitment . Goals are accomplished through positive, well-serving habits, so get good habits, and get to your goals!

Incorporating these three insights by the numbers will assist you, and empower you to not only set goals, they will, with diligence, empower you to attain goals!

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

January 2018 Lundberg's Life Tip

Similarities with Differences

When you meet someone who reminds you of someone else, someone you don't like, push yourself to find something about that person that you like, admire and/or respect. 

When you meet someone who reminds you of someone else, someone you really like, push yourself to find something about that person that is different, something you like, admire and/or respect about him or her separate from the other person in your life.

By putting yourself in a position to see the person differently, you will treat the person for whom s/he is, and not disrespect or favor someone unfairly.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Avoiding Airplane & Airport Angst!

Since many of us fly commercially, and the glamour of travel is less than it used to be, let's keep some style, consideration and humane-ness to taking flight with the following tips: for avoiding airplane/airport angst:
~If you get on an airplane with a bag, be able to put it away, yourself versus thinking the rules of efficiency for boarding and deplaning don't apply to you.
~If you get on an airplane, be wearing clothes (as opposed to pajamas).
~If you get on an airplane with a cold, get on with tissues and hand sanitizer (and use them instead of sniffing and snorting).
~If you get on a plane with an infant, get on that plane with a pacifier or some sort to assist them/their ears with when the plane is ascending and descending.
~If you get on a plane with food, skip the onions-especially the raw, lingering ones.
~If you are waiting for your airplane, and you make a phone call, make it on earbuds or the old-fashioned holding-the-phone-to-your-ear way, instead of on Facetime or speakerphone.
~If you are going to get on an airplane, and you are on the phone, disconnect before engaging with the gate agent.
If you get on an airplane with a device with sounds, get on with earbuds or a headset (and use it).

In other words, if you get on an airplane with others, remember there are those other people on that plane...and their journey matters, too!

Honing In on HOLIDAY Happiness

"Sharing the holiday with other people, and feeling that you're giving of yourself, gets you past all the commercialism." 
~ Caroline Kennedy

American author, attorney, and diplomat who served as the United States Ambassador to Japan from 2013 to 2017.
(b. 1957)

Honing In on HOLIDAY Happiness
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Or is it? That, is up to you.  Check out the HOLIDAY options below...
Are you on the Grinch-less side, or are you Scrooge-full?  You can move from one to the other with your attitude, your words, your actions and your responses. While some button-pushing may push you in a direction you don't enjoy, pull yourself back to being a Grinch-less, holiday-happy person...whatever you celebrate! Check in on your HOLIDAY spirit below, and choose well!
Are you Grinch-less:

  • Happy
  • Opportunity-seeker
  • Loving life with cheer
  • Immersed in gratitude
  • Dedicated to joy
  • Available for fun
  • Yearning for more

Or are you Scrooge-full:

  • Hectic
  • Overscheduled non-sleeper
  • Longing to hide
  • Inclined to cop a ‘tude
  • Desperate for a drink
  • Avidly avoiding others
  • Yelling in stores

And, when you decide to be less Scrooge-full, and more joy-filled, you find the Grinches move away from you more and more, for you have less and less in common! Happy Holidays, and make the most of all of the season!

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Giving Thanks All Year

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our Thanksgiving."
~ Betsey Farrell
American Actress

With the turkey (and leftovers) fully enjoyed, and the pumpkins and fall decor put away, Thanksgiving 2017 is "in the books", so to speak. Or, is it?

Sure, the day has gone by, and hopefully there was plenty of thanks, and a lot of love-giving involved that recent Thursday, and yet the spirit of, and the actions associated with Thanksgiving, do not have to be a memory or simply a day of the year that falls between Halloween and Christmas or Hannukah. How so?

Remember the excitement (not the stress) you had thinking about the holiday. Thanksgiving is a combination of appreciation and sharing. These things are not reserved for days of overeating and football. Instead, these are attitudes, actions and feeling for practicing all year long! When challenged, or seeking inspiration, or both, please think THANKS:

T - Tell someone how much you love them each day
H - Help someone without telling them you're "helping"
A - Appreciate little things in life (big things, too!)
N - Name someone good & kind & tell others about him/her
K - Kindle the flame of kindness by spreading and sharing it
S - Smile & give your pearly no-cost gift to friends/strangers

These simple ways of living life include keeping the spirit of Thanksgiving alive and all year long. You can gobble up all thanks, and all the giving every day, and include the leftovers to share with all you meet!

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Ps of Photo Fabulousness!

Say "Cheese!"

Since social media savvy people, non-stop posters, and simple sharing can make almost every gathering feel like holiday, and with many actual holiday events upcoming, the photos will be taken, posted, liked and commented on before you can say "cheese"!  In order to resist that "let me see" and all the retakes, enjoy the event, don't miss out on much, and feel fabulous and embrace photo taking, by please considering the following Ps to Photo fabulousness:

P - Pick your best side (we each have one, and yet it could vary by the day, so check it out!) and make an effort to get that side facing, so to speak (and resist saying "this is my best side", rather consider saying "I'll happily take this end" when you are in a row of people, or even it is just two of you).
P - Plant your back foot and lean your weight on it(this serves to keep you from leaning, and pull in your abdomen for balance, creating a lean look).
P - Point your front foot (without bending your knee, rather keeping that leg straight).
P - Place hand on your outer hip, or put hand at your side with a slight bend (most men, and some women prefer this latter option to the "hand on your hip" look).
P - Position shoulder (on camera-facing side by rolling your shoulder to get good posture, get your shoulders aligned, and keep your chest up and out).
P - Peer out of your eyes (by widening them and looking up as you dip your chin).
P - Play up those Pearly Whites (finish the powerful and fun photo by giving a real, sincere smile.
P - Pop your personality! Photos are best when they are reflective of the best, grateful you!

By quickly giving your pictures these Ps, you'll likely feel great, and even desire to share, tag, and even print the shots you are in this year!