Wednesday, March 25, 2020

A Lesson from Kindness Encounters!


While I am happy to be a part of many groups and organizations, it is interesting to see what people will promote or devote time to online.

One of the communities I am in focuses on KINDNESS. Oh, that is right up my alley, so it was exciting to get invited to be connected there!

With everything happening in the world, where it seems like some people are more concerned with hoarding than being considerate, it seemed this group would be a super reprieve for these "odd days".

I shared in that private group that my new hashtag is #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined and posted the hashtag there with a story about a trip to Costco and being nice to one another.

Someone took a shot at that by posting that I was taking jobs from workers by moving the carts out of the way in the parking lot. I thought, like I typically do, that she had the right to her view, and opted not to reply. It made me sad, though, as this person who was approved and/or invited in, was so quick to attack, and so fast to abandon kindness.

What I learned there was that some people believe kindness or being nice or considerate is ONLY the way they define it. Sadly, they are being judgmental, and in effect, not at kind in their ways.

So, please, let's be kind, even if that means not agreeing or not responding. After all, kindness and judgment are not adjacent, they are opposing mindsets...and kindness guides growth where judgment simply limits!

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Removing the un in unLUCKY!

During these times of feeling uncertain, uneasy, and even unlucky in situations, scheduling and even in life, in general,
make the most of your opportunities through the use of LUCKY-ness, meaning:

L - Limiting negativity and supposition,
U - Understanding your need for rest and rejuvenation (and honoring it),
C - Creating a community that supports one another,
K - Keeping a perspective on what IS going well and how to maintain it,
Y - Yielding not to the temptation of panic and paranoia.

When you own the unLUCKY, you can own the LUCKY, and therefore, remove the "un" in the way you handle your path and position!

Monday, February 17, 2020

Lesson from LinkedIn

This year, I vowed to expand my network in savvy, professional ways including attending South Tampa Chamber luncheons and accepting everyone (with a profile picture) on LinkedIn. Making connections on LinkedIn seems like a solid approach to enhance my contacts for learning and idea-sharing. With that, nearly 200 invitations have been accepted so far as of this update.

Of those 200 "connections", I have received 29 solicitations. And, when I say solicitations, I mean true solicitations...and nearly all of them were sent immediately...

What a lesson learned!

That lack of true interest in learning about me or one another and the attack on my senses was a huge turnoff. These messages ranged from insulting the number of connections I have to insisting I probably "needed" to take a workshop on Public Speaking since that person said "you seem like you want to be a speaker", and others offered to get me my "1st Gig". Really? That's the approach people are taking? Wow! Does that work? I wondered, and yet the thoughtless messages just kept coming.

In fairness, a couple of them had some business approaches that could work, meaning they addressed that we hadn't met yet, and shared a little about themselves. Still, not one of them did any research. I am not sure if more than one or two even read my full LinkedIn profile! I feel 100% confident that nobody Googled my name!

Imagine if we saw an ad for spending 5 minutes to be doubly productive - most of us would listen or even buy-in, right? Googling someone after seeing a potential business match is a way to productively attempt to really connect business-wise.

So the lesson learned about LinkedIn is that while I will still accept connections, I do, and will also continue to send the following response to the impersonal messages:

Hello Name!

Thank you for your outreach.

Since we have not met, and you may or may not have fully read my LinkedIn profile, please consider a message such as yours, in particular, so quickly after my acceptance of your connection, comes across as a cold solicitation.

Respectfully, I am not interested.

Here's wishing you the best in your business pursuits,
Debbie

And then, I remove the connection. While technology and being linked are both important, being truly connected is even more "In"!

Thursday, February 13, 2020

For the LOVE of Love!

Since it is the month of LOVE, how do we embrace love instead of being lonely if love doesn't serve us well, find us on the 14th of February, or if love simply doesn't seem as romantic as in books, on other people's social media, or the movies?

It's not easy, rather here are four simple (easy and simple are very different) approaches to fill your heart and mind with loving approaches to life.

For the LOVE of love, and for the best way to embrace LOVE please consider the following:

L - Look at people and situations for what they are, and not what you want them to be, or wish they would be. Seeing individuals and circumstances in the eye of reality means approaches can be taken, plans can be made, and expectations can be set in a way that will likely not disappoint in the future (even if you are a bit disappointed at the first true view of things and folks). Looking from a place of "right now" means you can set the stage right for love!

O- Open your eyes, mind and heart to possibilities. Be aware, yes, and be willing, too. Openness can create challenges and discomfort, and yet through openness comes opportunity and through opportunity comes growth. Opening your horizons to new activities, new people, and newness overall can create new hope! Hope springs eternal when we are open to love!

V - Vulnerability-ize yourself, meaning instead of protecting yourself from the unknown, take chances in words, actions, plans, and outreaches. Push yourself to do something different, something that dares you to explore. It doesn't have to be big first, and yet that can grow into many more explorations. Through being vulnerable, there is a risk that you can get hurt, and yet with vulnerability can come a love...a love for a new hobby, place, person or more!

E - Embrace all you already have. Sometimes the feeling of a lull in love or lack of love means a slight shift away from appreciation. Embracing life, friends, family, your home, your health and more, allows for a warm heart and an opportunity for more gratitude. And, embracing the idea of loving what you've received and created is embracing the idea of more love!

So, Valentine's week or not, consider the look, the openness, the vulnerability, and the embracing of you and your life...for your LOVE of love!

Friday, January 24, 2020

A Lesson from the Parking Lot

Carts in parking lots have consistently perplexed me. Call me crazy, it seems simple: use a cart, empty a cart, return the cart to the store or cart corral.

Still, month by month (admittedly, Michael does the grocery shopping for us), I see people leave carts in the aisles of the parking lot, against cars, up on grassy areas, and many places other than in the store's designated areas.

I was frustrated. I moaned and groaned about it. It was exasperation at its finest (or at its worst, really)...

Even though it was my goal to take in many carts, I did it out of flabbergastedness (not that it is a word).

This month, the start of a new year and new decade, it dawned on me that this is my issue. This is my challenge (of many for growth), and it was decided that a new approach would be best.

I did just that.

Oh, I still take in the carts for others. Instead of being snitty or covert, I see that person, acknowledge them as a person who perhaps has a lot on his/her plate, smile and say something similar to "Hello. May I please take that in for you?". The responses have been interesting. Some people seem "caught" and they apologize, and now I sincerely let them know I am happy to do it. Others seem happy to be acknowledged at all. Still, many (I've been at the store more intentionally) give a genuine "Thank you", and, in turn, share a genuine "You're welcome!".

While I am still not "cured" of my near-obsession with people and carts, shifting approaches from one of irritability to service has made the difference in how my Emotional Intelligence, care, and empathy seem to be serving myself and others.

So, if you see me pushing one, two, or yes, even up to four carts in at Publix or Costco, know that this is a form of restitution and joy from a self-inflicted tortured soul to a self-aware serving soul!

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Getting Back on Track Post-Holidays


With the trees and menorahs put away, and the Happy New Year greetings capturing our energy and interest, the holiday hangover can be real!
 
So, how do you get back on track after the holidays, or any break? Please consider these four steps to regaining focus, purpose and enthusiasm for what you are going to accomplish:
  1. Make a list of all your previous accomplishments and a list of things for which you are grateful
  2. Clean/clear out your space – whether that be physical or electronic – make that a priority, as a clean space is a productive space
  3. Make a list of goals and stretch goals that are specific and measurable with time frames tied to the accomplishments without the words more, better, less, etc, as this is about being accountable to success not just subjective hopes
  4. Calendar activities that will get you to results and plan time for reflection and unexpected happenings, and follow your calendar as a guide to empower and not a list to restrict. Build in rewards for your accomplishments in order to feel and see the success.
 
When you are distracted or down, go back to the lists and calendar and keep moving forward based on previous wins as you plan for continued growth!

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Being the Best You!

"You get the best out of others when you get the best out of yourself." 
~Harvey S. Firestone
American Businessman.
(1868 - 1938)
#QUOTE
#PresentingPowerfully
#CreateYourCommunity
#LearnWithAndFromOthers
#BeInspired
#ComplementaryThoughts

While it is not even the year-end, and the clock is not near striking midnight, it has already started - the New Year's Resolution talk, the plans for making changes, and the ads for working out, losing weight and more!


While those resolutions may be fun to think about, plan around and fantasize regarding the results, the reality is you can shift from making resolutions to creating a new tradition this year, one of being the BEST you moving forward...if you like.


For what reason? Well, those resolutions are typically vague, and words such as "better", "more", "less", and "improve" fill them with hope while providing very little measurability and accountability. Also, resolutions can be about what is perceived as "wrong with you", where making the tradition of being the BEST you, is not about what is wrong or off, rather it is about giving your all, contributing your expertise, and making the most of each situation, opportunity and engagement you have/get!


The difference in a resolution, which may sound like this: "I want to eat healthier", and a new tradition BEST statement such as "When making food choices, I will serve myself well by choosing wisely for nutrition and enjoyment". Similarly, a shift from "I want to slow down and say no more" becomes a BEST statement of "I will make sound choices for my interests and schedule in order to be present with people and in situations".


Moving from making resolutions to improve to making a commitment to be the best in attitude, approach and actions will allow you to be focused, stay accountable, and make the most of your energy and outcomes in 2020...and beyond!

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Stop Should-ing All Over Yourself!

No matter what the time of year, it is often tempting to say "Oh, I should..." when there is something to be done that is different than what is being done at that time. This is what I (and others) call "Should-ing all over yourself". And, as you can likely tell, that is not a recommended action!

While the words, "I should" seem innocent, they are harmful and not helpful.

Instead of "Should-ing" all over yourself, which is putting yourself down, and putting yourself in a place of repression and/or obligation and "need", put yourself in a place of empowerment and action by saying things like "Since I want to be on time, I am going to leave now", or "In order to feel great tomorrow, I am going to go to bed now".

Start strong and end strong with the words you choose and the actions you take...with no shoulds or should haves in your way!

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Fight or Flight or FOCUS

"Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self."
~ Karen Salmansohn
American Author.

For decades (or centuries) we have been told that we have this "fight or flight" response. And, yes, we do! We have all likely experienced the desire to either run or lash out when faced with someone or something uncomfortable, and similarly, most of us have done both. Even though these are guttural and common reactions, there is a way to train, coach and guide ourselves to respond instead, and that is with emotional intelligence through focusing, and a process I call FOCUS.

When we check in on knowing we are having a reaction to an individual, group, or circumstance, we can focus on what is best instead of fighting with, or flighting from, who or what is blocking our reason.

At the times of emotional overwhelm leaning toward ranting or running, if for one or two instances we can get away from the pull or push, we can FOCUS through these five parts to the approach:

F - Feel the emotions - acknowledge them to yourself and know they are real and okay.
O - Offer yourself the opportunity to share your fears and concerns.
C - Consider your options of fight, flight or focus.
U - Understand that the choice is yours, and that nobody "forces" you to do or not do things.
S - State what you are doing with steps such as "First, I will take a breath, and next I will verbalize my feelings", and "After that, I will make a list of what is at stake", and "Once that list is done, I will record everyone who is involved", followed by "Now that I am focused, I will take action externally by XYZ".

The intense desire to take flight or fight exists, and it is within us...it simply does not have to control us when we FOCUS!

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

RSVPing Simplified

RSVP is an English initialism derived from the French statement or question Répondez s'il vous plaît, loosely meaning "Respond if you please" to require confirmation of an invitation in order for the inviting party to be able to plan for who will be at an event.

While there is a part that is "if you please", there is really nothing pleasing about ignoring an invitation. Unless the invitation says "Regrets Only" or something other than RSVP, or please respond on or before DATE, then send your "Yes" or "No, thank you" to any and all formal invitations.

An RSVP is a response. Let someone know yes or no. Respect the deadline, and don't make changes to your RSVP unless something arises that s unavoidable.

People who send out invitations early deserve your respect of an RSVP and your keeping to it. Even if something else comes along, own your actions, and be present fully when attending!

Monday, September 30, 2019

Being Your Own Biggest Fan!

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."
 ~ Norman Vincent Peale 
American Clergyman/Speaker.
(1898 - 1993)

Sure, it's great to get kudos, thanks, and accolades for work or words well-done, and yet relying on others' views and shared opinions of you can leave you feeling dependent, or worse yet, desperate, for that feedback.

How do we overcome that desire to get input and hear praise? While we may not ever not seek feedback, after all, it is good for us, we can share insights and good cheer from within in an effort to support and supplement, and dare to be the foundation, to good vibes, and therefore, good self-esteem. Being our own biggest fan can be done without conceit or vanity, rather for good health and well being by doing the following:

Practicing GRATITUDE. By being thankful for what we have we are reminding ourselves of the good in our world/life.
Taking a POWER STANCE each day. These were shared most widely in the Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy. Opening up to a Superman/Wonder Woman type stance for two minutes can empower our energy to be confident. https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
Have a MANTRA. I have the mantra "I want, I will, I am", which has been shared in previous updates. Think "I want _____ (a desired outcome), and I will _____ (an action to take), because I am _______ (characteristic or attribute about self)." An example is "I want to be on time for meetings and clients today, so I will tend to my directions for the entire day while planning, because I am a conscientious collaborator and partner." A mantra sets you up to "be" based on your own abilities.
Give yourself a PERSONAL PEP TALK. Something that says "You've got this!". Talk to yourself and use your name. Once I share to myself if "You've got this, Deb. You know what you are doing, prepared for success, and you're going to deliver what the audience wants and deserves. Enjoy it!"
Develop a CEO of MEO mission statement, meaning be the Chief Empowerment Officer of My Every Opportunity. My current CEO of MEO is: "I am a lean, pristine, high-performing human being bringing positivity to people, situations and choices in order to be present and live life fully"! This form of I AM statement commands attention from the strengths you have toward the now and the future.
Write your future state in a paragraph as though it is an article about you now. Use third person to take a view from afar while getting into up-close details.
Meditate and let go of stress that is not serving you well.
Shift from poor-serving habits with well-serving habits. Simply giving things up can seem like punishment, so exchange those habits with something positive and see how the pivot makes the change a direction and not detrimental.
Replace "Have to, Need to, Should, Ought to" with "I want, I will, I am, I am in the process of" to focus on what you are processing for progress rather than what you are doing our of obligation.
Write a compliment on your bathroom mirror to yourself each morning first thing so that you'll see it all day long and appreciate you being you!

Some things may seem small, and they are. Some things may seem simple, and they are. Some things may seem silly, and they are NOT! Investing in your belief, reflection, support and confidence is anything other than silly, and everything around smart!

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

BEAM Support of/to Others


While being self-assured is tremendously important, support of others is as well.

When you want to share that, consider BEAMing that support through these four things/approaches:

B - Belief
E - Empathy
A - Awareness
M - Mindfulness

Sharing belief, expressing empathy, having awareness of what may be challenges and goals, and being mindful of any obstacles and others involved will allow you to be supportive without manipulating, and encouraging without managing.

A way to BEAM is "Tom, because you thrive in front of a group, and I believe in your abilities to persuade, you will impact so many at this conference by telling your story and asking for support of our product. The Board and I look forward to your keynote!

BEAM away, as shining light on others takes none away from you, and perhaps brightens theirs!!

Friday, August 30, 2019

Using Emotions Intelligently vs. Emotionally!

"Take control of your consistent emotions and begin to consciously and deliberately reshape your daily experience of life." ~ Tony Robbins
American Author/Speaker.
(1960)

How many times have you either said or heard "Don't get so emotional", or "Don't take this personally, but..."? Well, we are each a person, so we take things personally, and as people, we are filled with energy and emotions. As a result, saying, or hearing, expressions such as those are neither encouraging or level-setting. Instead, this article is about appreciating our emotions, and thinking about utilizing the strength of them, checking in on them, and assessing ourselves and others for timing, form, and effectiveness. Yes, this tip is about Emotional Intelligence (EI)!

EI is a set of emotional and social skills that collectively establish how we:

  • Perceive and express ourselves
  • Develop and maintain social relationships
  • Cope with challenges/change
  • Use emotional information effectively/meaningfully

Emotional Intelligence is demonstrated through 5 scales, and each has three subscales:

1. Self-perception-(Inner Self) Understanding YOUR emotions

1. Self-regard - confidence
2. Self-actualization - continuous development
3. Emotional Self-awareness - acknowledging your emotions

2. Self-expression-(Outward Self) Expressing YOUR emotions

4. Emotional Expression - saying how you feel
5. Assertiveness - standing up for yourself effectively
6. Independence - standing on your own 2 feet

3. Interpersonal-(Trust/Compassion) Developing/maintaining relationships

7. Interpersonal Relationships - developing & maintaining good relationships
8. Empathy - recognizing & appreciating how others feel
9. Social Responsibility - contributing to society

4. Decision-making-(Emotional Impact) Using emotions for sound choices

10. Problem Solving - effectively managing emotions when deciding
11. Reality Testing - seeing things as they really are
12. Impulse Control - ability to resist or delay taking immediate action

5. Stress Management-(Resiliency) Coping with challenges/change

13. Flexibility - adapting to change effectively
14. Stress Tolerance - successfully coping in high-stress situations
15. Optimism - having a positive outlook

That is a lot of "background" on EI. And yet without it, it would be challenging to appreciate what to do with it. So here are some ways to enhance/grow/utilize Emotional Intelligence include:

  • Assess yourself on a 1-5 scale each day on either the scales, or subscales, or all of them
  • Be in touch, practice mindfulness & identify emotions
  • Value others for their role & feedback
  • Check biases and attitude
  • Beware: blame game & emotional games
  • Be about "what's best" vs. "I'm right"
  • Breathe fully & celebrate positive emotions
  • Question stories, even if you believe them
  • Practice empathy
  • Prioritize active-listening during challenges
  • Use clear language
  • Admit when you are off, wrong, confused, or anything other than your "on", and seek ways to get back to your best

When you assess, implement, and speak to emotions, you handle them for you, and from others, with intelligence, and stay emotionally intelligent rather than getting yourself into emotional discomfort!

Friday, August 16, 2019

SHARE Your Brainstorming


If you want to get ideas out on the table, and you want other people's input, too, brainstorming is an excellent approach to collaboration and advancement.

Still, we often have brainstorming sessions that stifle people, have biases, and end as simply a formality to getting someone's idea in place.

SHARE your brainstorming successfully by doing the following 5 things:
S - Set the stage for the expected
 outcomes and set the stage with a clear problem statement to solution
H - Have rules of engagement that level sett the room and letting everyone know his and her ideas count, and how NO is not part of the conversations, and that personal attacks are in the past along with courtesy and openness being part of the present..."
A - Ask for input and record all of them without discussion
R - Revisit each idea after all are recorded in order to keep, alter, or dismiss for that problem
E - End the session by selecting and agreeing to moving forward with a plan and thanking the participants

Using the SHARE approach to brainstorming becomes an approach to solutioning situations with collaboration and buy-in!

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Make Time to OWN Your Time

"If you're not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life."
~ Penny Marshall
American Actress.
(1942 - 2018)
#QUOTE
#PresentingPowerfully
#CreateYourCommunity
#LearnWithAndFromOthers

So many people say things like "I don't have time for...", and/or "I didn't have time to get that done", and/or "If I only had time...". These are common, and yet, not sensible, as time is set, finite, and cannot be made into more or taken away.

Still, time is something some people chase, and that some people dread. What to do, right?

Time "Management" is a part of the process of addressing time ownership, and yet that "Management" is less important than our perspective and our relationship with the clock, and, specifically with the seconds, minutes and hours in our days!  Here is a list of the Savvy 7 for Not Succumbing to the Battle with the Clock, and for Saying Goodbye to Wasted Moments while Maximizing Every Minute:

1. Eliminate lists, schedule all & have buffers built-in. Yes, it reads "NO LISTS", and yet you can make a list, simply take the list and convert it to calendar items in order to really give them their "place". This will ease your subconscious wondering when you'll get to the "to-do" items.

 2. Prioritize & ask priority when people request you do something. Instead of thinking you "have to" get something done, ask when it is anticipated. Using expressions such as "Since I am working on X, when do you anticipate you want Y done?"


3. Start early & complete the worst thing first. If you tackle what you dread or dislike initially, it will be accomplished. If you do not, you may inadvertently take longer to do things in between, and eventually postpone what you have on your "dread-to-do" mind.


4. Learn to say "no" & resist "Busy-ness". When asked how you are, skip "I'm busy" and skip asking people if they are busy. If you get asked "Are you busy?", then say "Thanks for asking, it's been productive." Similarly, say "No" or "No, thank you" to requests that are not of interest. Get out of your way of feeling obliged or apologetic.


5. Time chunk & allow time to be real and it's use a tangible part of your process (not a hope you can get it done). Think in terms of 20 minutes. Time yourself. Get used to what you can accomplish in 20 minutes and then reserve 20 minute chunks for people and for accomplishing things. Hope is not a strategy, so stop hoping you'll get it all done, and know what you can get done!



6. Focus solely on something (no multi-tasking). Multitasking is really "Switch Tasking", meaning our minds have to switch back and forth, so stop forcing that extra effort and make time for doing something, or a portion of something before altering focus to something else. Resist the temptation that multitasking is useful or even possible, and you'll see and feel how much you get accomplished, really!


7. Create organizing systems (mental & physical) that work for you. People can have varied systems, and yet having a system is key. Make your piles, populate your folders, set reminder. Stick with it rather than being scattered and/or being tempted to use sticky notes as a method!


Having ownership of your time is about being in control, and therefore ready for most anything, so tackle it, embrace it, and let go of time having a hold on you as you enjoy your opportunities and challenges in the time they deserve!

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Less "I", "Me", "My", More "You", "Yours, "Ours"


If you think about society, there are a lot of comments about people being self-absorbed.

In order to stay away from that perception about your brand or being, then please consider using less "I", "Me", "My", and incorporating more "You", "Yours", "Ours".

How so?
  • In written communication, including emails, replace "I hope you are doing well" with "Hopefully you are doing well." 
  • Similarly, when asked your opinion, shift from "For me, my idea is..." to "Since you like X, you may enjoy Y".
  • Additionally, in collaborating, offer "What is best for our situation..." over "What you need to do..."
Subtly demonstrating a focus on others will make for a clear message that you want to engage and grow rather than insert and insist!

Monday, July 8, 2019

Texting Tip: Your ETA Replaces "On My Way"

When you are delayed, and something happens that you will not be on time, do let others know!

Still, please resist the self-focused text:
"On my way",
as this tells us very little - where are you, how long will it take, and more - this is not giving us a lot of information!
That text serves as a gesture, and not an update.
And, replace it with:
"ETA of 1:03 PM",
since this shares that you are running behind (do apologize for that), and when your friend/colleague can expect you.

With a focus on the other person making the most of his time and not simply waiting for you, that will show respect and allow for planning for that time frame!

Friday, June 28, 2019

Mindset Shift to Positivity

"You try something, it doesn't work, and maybe people even criticize you. In a fixed mindset, you say, 'I tried this, it's over.' In a growth mindset, you look for what you've learned." 
~ Carol S. Dweck
American Educator.
(b. 1946)
#QUOTE
#PresentingPowerfully
#CreateYourCommunity
#LearnWithAndFromOthers


Recently, my expected 10:00 PM flight arrived safely at 5:00 AM the following morning. That was not my plan, nor was it any of the other 175 people on that itinerary! Hmmmmm...what to do!?! You've likely been there...a flight was just cancelled, you have a flat tire, someone is sick, or your meeting was moved and traffic is heavy, right?

These are not joy-filled moments or situations. We are not loving these circumstances, and yet if we let "not loving it" turn to negativity, the whole experience, attitude, and event he day can be ruined - not by the happenings, rather by how we allow the happenings to impact us!

How do we shift to a mindset of positivity in a negative situation? 

It's not easy, and yet here are a few simple ideas for processing out of "Ugh!" to "Okay - this will work!"!

  1. Once you know things are not good, let there be a moment of disappointment. That's real, and being positive is not about being fake or ignoring reality.through the way you carried that mindset forward!
  2. Close your eyes and picture something positive. Smile at what you are thinking about. With that smile on your face, open your eyes and think of one thing you can do to change your "now", and move toward a future that is less negative.
  3. Think about 24 hours from that moment, and how different things will be. Create a plan for now-to-then.
  4. Communicate to those impacted about the new plans, rather than the current situation.
  5. Move away from those who are negative (if physically around them, or away in communication, if they are at a distance). Resist engaging in other's disappointment or despair, and/or attempting to "correct" or "fix" their mindset.
  6. Fill the time or space with something useful and/or positively distracting. Be appreciative of what you have as you respect what you may not have (time, money, control of certain things) in that particular situation.
  7. Focus on the end result and check back in on anything you can do to advance toward that.
  8. Plan for ways to avoid these things/people in the future.
  9. Be grateful for moving forward (even if it is slow or taxing on time/energy at moments).
  10. Take breaths and walks for changes of position and scenery in order to keep grounded and focused.

I just did this in the Dallas Airport when a flight was delayed 7 times, we boarded and deplaned, and my arrival was a day later than expected, and yet two hours before my next engagement. Things went well, and my energy level for my second all-day presentation was good.

Similarly, when you shift your mindset to positivity, you aren't removed from the disappointment or change, rather you decide how to accept it and move through it to a new situation for ownership of your energy and outlook. And, with those 10 steps, you just may lead by example for those caught up in the negativity around you!

Thursday, June 13, 2019

TAP into Presenting Ideas Positively


When we have an idea, we often want to share it, right?

Other people, though, may not have the same idea, or even be ready to "hear" our thoughts.

What to do?

Please consider these three steps to TAP into Presenting Ideas Positively: Transition, Admission, Position!

T - Transition - Use a word or phrase that is simple and reflects thinking of the other person or people, such as "Considering
 you are looking to...", or "Respecting you have done some research..."
This allows for thought, time and connection.

A - Admission - Give your perspective and own it with something like "I have been thinking about it, too...", or "I am hoping you are open to...
This means you are not dancing around something.

P - Position - Share you idea clearly, in one or two options, without apology or caveats. Something such as "Would you please consider doing X or Y, instead?"
This shows you are asking, not telling,and choices mean you are also open!

When you attempt to TAP into positioning positively, you often don't offend, create conversation, and end on an idea that is workable for all!

Monday, June 3, 2019

Upgrades Through Optimism

"No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude!"
~ Buddy Valastro
American Chef

Being upbeat is usually a good thing. Optimism is contagious and being positive works to our advantage internally, for perspective, and sometimes externally, too!


How so?



Imagine being tired from a delayed flight getting ready to check in at a hotel while you are hungry, and you answer the opening question "How are you?" from the hotel team member with "Ugh! It's been a terrible day and I cannot believe how ridiculous travel is!" versus saying "It's great to be here! Hope your day has been a good one!". The person behind the desk has likely been ignored, treated poorly and treated well during the day. It costs you nothing to be positive.



Now, onto the upbeatedness of this: Think about asking that person what his favorite rooms are, and if any of those are available, adding you are not in a rush to wait for something s/he deems to be special. Often, showing that upbeat approach, and being genuinely interested in the other person, you'll get upgraded - not because you demanded it, had points for it, or paid for it, simply because you upbeated your way to it!