St. Valentine's Spirit All Year Long!

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire, French Philosopher and Writer (1694-1778)

Early each February (if not sooner for retail reasons!) Saint Valentine is brought to life in many forms from cards to candy, but what about when images, figures and holiday happenings are not present? Do we stop giving of ourselves to others, and lose a little of that holiday love that is generated so generously around February 14th?

Not necessarily…

Without the cutout hearts, greeting cards and wonderful chocolates to share, we are left with just us, raw and unsure, busy and baffled, appreciative and awkward. It’s okay, though, as many of you have heard me say (or read in my writings) in the past, very few (if any) people we know are overwhelmed, and simply too full of love and appreciation each day.

If you think you are unsure of what to say or how to say it, kindly:

~ Start with sincerity and a smile
~ Continue with telling, writing or selecting a card that denotes your feelings
~ Make the message or comment about him or her, and not you
~ Let the person know what you love or appreciate about him/her or his/her efforts
~ Move on so the situation is not odd for that person

An example of this is (see the smile and hear the sincerity, please) “Andy, your approach with the client was nothing less than spot-on. I appreciate the way you get to know each person with whom you interact. Thank you for making a difference for the company in your relationship-building! What else is on your agenda for us to cover?”. This example allows Andy to say his thank you and keep going, or if Andy is really comfortable receiving praise, he can make some other comments as well. Either way, it is a success for Andy.

As for you, you won’t fail or even flail. You’ll likely be a huge hit. You may receive an “oh, you don’t have to say that”, or a “really???”. Let it be. I’d hope for etiquette’s sake you’ll get a “thank you”, but we give sincere recognition comments selflessly in anticipation of nothing in return (the same for gifts). After all, the appreciation and love you share is meant to be expressed and stated… how else will you keep the St. Valentine spirit alive all year long?

A Positive Mantra for Positive Results

"Success is the progressive realization of worthwhile, predetermined, personal goals."

~ Paul J. Meyer

Whether this is the time of year you have really embraced a resolution and created a habit, or if this is that season of reflection of asking what was it I thought I was going to change for 2011, there are a few quick inner messages you can set, readjust or introduce to make a bit of your own personal mantra for moving forward with confidence, focus and boundaries.

Take a couple of minutes to complete the following statements with positive, realistic, and attainable actions or characteristics:

I WANT (TO) ____________
I WILL ___________
I AM ____________
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF _______________
I DO _____________

For example, mine currently reads:
I WANT ONLY POSITIVE ENERGY AROUND ME
I WILL FINISH MY BOOK BY MONTH-END
I AM INSIGHTFUL AND CARING PERSONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF ENHANCING MY STREAMLINING AND ORGANIZATION SKILLS
I DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES AND BUSINESSES OF EACH OF MY CLIENTS

Yours may be similar or completely different, but if it is about you, for you, and you write it, print/post it, or both, and embrace the comments fully to the point of belief and commitment, they will actually "be" once you believe it, and layer it with your follow-through actions.

Remember, being reflective and forward focused, with a realistic, thriving edge to your vision, will have you engaged in the next habit for all the well-serving reasons...and the results!

Falling In Love with All You Do

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~ Albert Schweitzer

Regardless of what you have planned for today, this week, or this month, love is in the air...if you let it be!

Love may not seem like much of a business approach or attribute, but if you love what you do, you are more likely to like (or even love) those around you, like (or even love) your clients, and like (or even love) the moments you spend working (and there are a lot of them) !

If you do not currently love what you do, you have options...find something else - your passion, or rediscover what you fell in like/love with in the company, the industry or the field, or just do nothing. The last option is most popular, but by far, not the most effective.

As many of you have heard me say repeatedly, you are far more than what you do for a living! Still, if you love or find things you love about what you are doing for your work/career/business, you will likely invite other positive, loving energy...both personally and professionally!

With heartfelt appreciation, keep the love alive, and make the most of your Valentine's Day...

Your Idea SPACE Approach

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha

You live in a world of ideas.

How are you at Sharing, Persuading, Asking, Collaborating and Executing such ideas?

Consider the Idea SPACE approach of:

•Share what the issue is or need at hand as well as what a win/success would be.
•Persuade others to interest with stories and examples.
•Ask if you missed anything to get clarification and on the same page.
•Collaborate together on a firm, sound work-able solution.
•Execute what was decided with tracking and accountability.

As an Entrepreneur, new leader, or established pro, if you make idea SPACE part of your process, effective communication and action will be part of your lasting impression, sales, recognition and results!

Knowing…or “No”ing

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”
~ David Starr Jordan, American ichthyologist, educator, writer

No self, no want, no plan; no progressive results…

Know self, know want, know plan; know progressive results!

Before we can get to the result, and there always is a result, whether it is intentional or not, we have the option to blindly, or even optimistically stumble with the approach of “no”ing to an end, OR we can make time for knowledge and the application of knowledge in order to mindfully and directly impact the result(s).

Ourselves, and people on our teams, as well as those in our partnerships/alignments, are either 1) those who know, or 2) those who choose not to know. (Knowing is loosely interpreted here as being aware, acknowledging, and accepting.)

So, before you or your team move forward on a project, proposal or plan, please ensure you know yourself; that is the person or people involved, you know your want; that is what your desire looks like, know your plan; or how you will be able to realistically get there, and know your progressive result; that is both the forward motion and tangible outcomes.

Without knowing, we are simply “no”ing. We’re just ill-informed, or worse yet, oblivious, and with knowledge, and the applied efforts that such knowledge brings, we can, and are far more likely to have that success, that win that will feed positively into knowing ourselves even more, growing our wants, sticking to plans and continuing to impact results. The circle of knowing is one of very little “no”!

Know Perspective; Know Ownership; Know Freedom!

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." ~ Denis Waitley, speaker and author

Success in life and in business is both a "no excuses", and a "no blame" mentality. People who know perspective and know ownership also know the freedom from looking back and the freedom to look forward.

Think back to the last time you made an excuse for something or someone, or blamed another person for a situation you were in. I hope that was long ago, and regardless of when it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you think...how did you feel? There are not likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, are there?

Now, remember a time when you made time for assessing your view and perspective, and/or took ownership of a situation you were in. I hope that was recent, and whenever it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you think...how did you feel? There are likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, aren't there?

You were the same person, with the same experience and opportunity in both of those reflections (for the most part), and yet, what was different? Your choices were different. When you chose to make excuses and blame, you were not able to gain perspective or ownership...you were a bit "stuck" in the scenario and time passing to put it in the past. Yet, when you chose to not make excuses and not blame, you were able to gain perspective and ownership...you could move forward, and decide what to learn, when to learn and how to learn...and move onto the future. So, it's up to you, excuses and blame, or perspective and ownership? So for life and business success, let yourself make a choice...choose mindfully, choose consistently, and choose freedom!

New Outlook From a Conversational Inquiry

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers."
~ Tony Robbins

With the temptation of resolutions or "new starts" to the year still among us, if you want to do something different in one of your first one-on-one meetings with team members or clients, or even your whole team or company, consider asking:

What are you most proud of from last year?
What do you want to retain this year?
What do you want to tweak this year?
What do you want to look back in 2012 and know happened in 2011...what would you like your future perspective to be?

Those few questions will spark directional, intentional conversation, and will give you insight regarding the direction people want to go, and what drives them as well. These are a wonderful way to see if you are "on the same page" or not with partners as well. Heck, your answers might even surprise yourself...

Happy New Year!

Resist Judgment, Embrace Choices

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung

Have you ever had someone ask “what were you thinking?” or “why are you doing that?”? I believe most of us have, and while it is not enjoyable, it is often part of our experiences as people; as leaders; as targets for some to “attack” in the midst of our driving results.

Those questions/propositions do not usually feel good, or get us to simply and calmly respond, sometimes, instead, we react.

So, when the tables are turned, and you question what people are thinking, doing or promoting, I encourage you to look at what has been done as a choice or series of choices rather than judging the actions or outcomes. It’s not easy, but it is a simple approach…let others make their choices and either reap the rewards or consequences, and you do the same. Let the judgment stay internal until it dissolves, and externally voice something like “I appreciate your choice”, or “While I appreciate the choice, and may have chosen differently for myself, I will respect your decision”. The “you should have” or “how could you?” comments do not promote conversation, rather defense.

Nobody will make the same choices we would for us, and yet for them, they make the choices that they believe will serve them best. Someone else would be a second-rate you, just as you’d be a second-rate him/her. Let the judgment go, and watch how your choices yield respect from others and appreciation and consideration from yourself!

A Year Without Resolutions

PLEASE ENJOY THIS EXCERPT FROM MY 2007 BOOK, "Have a Nice Day" is Not "Thank You", and "No Problem" is Not "You're Welcome"!

“The greatest works are done by the ones. The hundreds do not often do much, the companies never; it is the units, the single individuals, that are the power and the might.” ~ Philemon Charles H. Spurgeon

Every year some time shortly after the clock strikes midnight on January 1st, many people flock to gyms, throw away their cigarettes, start writing a book, change their diet, etc....all in the name of New Year's Resolutions! January is a full month for activities such as those, and, along about February or March, these resolutions to increase, improve, decrease or lose, have, for the most part, dissipated, leaving people feeling they are failures, slackers, or minimally, unresolved...

Rather than set New Year's resolutions, please consider the practice of planned accomplishments throughout the year. Planned accomplishments are goals set with intended results, and are done for a selfish reason of bettering oneself...and often benefit not only you, but others alike.

A proficient (productive and efficient combined) way to plan accomplishments is to think of your three key strengths and write them down, followed by the recording of the three areas of opportunity you observe most in yourself. Then, if you are brave and really determined to improve, poll 6-10 people (on the same two topics) who are important in your life and look for consensus. When you have the top three in each area, personally rank them in order of importance. From there, you have six areas for planned accomplishment (Yes, it is healthy to plan accomplishments for strength areas as well...it's like giving those attributes further enhancement or shine). Determine a workable approach that is measurable for each planned accomplishment, and record them for you before sharing them with minimally three people (ideally, you'd share them with the same 6-10 whom were polled). To ensure you have clear planned accomplishments, when determining them, give yourself a way to recognize your progress. In other words, spending more time with my family is a typical "resolution", where a planned accomplishment is spending at least 1 hour a day with my family in discussion/conversation without the TV or other distractions. Qualifiers such as more, better, stronger, faster, slower, less, provide built-in excuses and/or success. Imagine if someone currently spends 5 minutes a day with his/her family and they "resolve" to spend more time...s/he is magically (read as easily) successful, when 10 minutes is spent...or even 6? Push yourself to know what it is you want to accomplish...and measure up! Similarly, resolving to "lose weight" or get in "better shape" will yield a higher form of accomplishment and purpose when re-focused and rephrased to a specific amount, fitness level, body fat %, or even better, medical health levels, as such planned accomplishments will reflect in one's confidence and in the way others recognize that person's ability to stick with things. Simply stated, set a clear path and follow through. Because of the way your subconscious works, "lost weight" gets found, "better shape" is relative, etc., therefore, I encourage you to look to rid, discard, remove whatever it is you do not want (weight, cholesterol levels, coffee, caffeine, cigarettes, unhealthy relationships, etc.) from your life, so that you are not working against yourself internally without even realizing it, based on your self-talk.

The old adage of plan the work and work the plan, rings true with this process, and the implementation of the methodology will likely keep your focus, commitment and interest level because it is done out of desire and want, rather than in reaction to the tradition of the Babylonians, who were known to have celebrated the new year approximately 4,000 years ago. Picture yourself along about February or March, progressing in/on your planned accomplishments, and, for the most part, none having dissipated, positioning you as a success, a do-er, and quite realistically, already accomplished!

High, Low, Pride Review

“Democracy is the art of thinking independently together.”
~ Alexander Meiklejohn

At the end of a presentation, work day, work week, or project, a good way to kick off a review of the "happenings" is to ask three things:

What was the high from this experience/day/week/project?

What was the low from this experience/day/week/project?

What are you most proud of as it relates to this experience/day/week/project?

The first question starts on a positive note, the second allows you to solution things for next time, and you end with the third question to bring it all into perspective and close strongly as well.

Implement an agenda of just these three things, and watch where the "review" goes...it's democratic, since you each/all can participate, and it's diplomatic in the approach!

Side note - this works great with kids, spouses, and any personal relationships, too!

BTS to Responding over Reacting

“I think it was a good challenge for me to get my reactions across without being able to speak.” ~ Verne Troyer

Sometimes questions, issues, inquiries come in spurts or trends, and perhaps it is because we are at the year-end, entering into more family time than usual, or just because, but I have been asked many times over the past weeks about how to handle something shocking, offensive or just plain inappropriate.

An option for all things in life is to do nothing. Yes, you can walk away…

Still, most of us want to speak, to share and even put things to rest, so here’s an approach that works for most: I call it the BTS way…

The BTS way means as soon as you are shocked, taken aback, or just frustrated by a comment or statement, you:

B – Breathe (this buys you time and actually calms your body – think “take a breath-deeply”)
T – Tilt your head (shifting your head seems less attacking to the other person and softens your view/direction)
S – Smile (Put a smile on your face so your words are said with a smile and sincerity…even on the phone, the smile comes through)

At a family dinner where politics comes up, in a meeting where working on a holiday is mentioned, instead of reacting and attacking, think responding and bonding with the BTS way!

Sharing Your Opposing Opinion Professionally

“Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it.” ~ Frank Tyger

A well written opposing opinion message allows for clarity and understanding (not to be confused with agreement). As long as you have an intent that is focused and clear while anticipating your audience, you will likely have success. Still, in order to be as well prepared as possible, the following steps to effectively opposing an opinion, will assist you in achieving just that!

1. Decide what you want to inspire: thoughts, exchange, debate, etc.
2. Imagine various perspectives, regardless of your position.
3. Assess whether you have exposure, experience or expertise in the subject area and know that your audience will know that as well.
4. Use a considerate approach, including:
a. Background on topic (what you have heard/read) for acknowledgment
b. Share one or two stories with facts and evidence that are compelling/interesting
c. State your opinion

If you are writing to someone, use the following additional tips:
1. Create an outline and draft including an introduction (Background), body (Story) and conclusion (Opinion).
2. Use proper vocabulary, punctuation, spelling and tense without acronyms (unless used only after the full description), slang or colloquial references.

For both verbally and in writing embrace the following:
1. Be passionate about the topic without being emotional about potential conflicts.
2. Look forward to the replies/ideas that you may or may not have considered.

Best wishes on those "used-to-get-heated" topics by using a professional, time-tested approach!

Giving Thanks Verbally!

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

It's not that we are not grateful, it's not that we are unappreciative...sometimes it is just challenging to express our gratitude and appreciation. Not this year at Thanksgiving!

You may have seen in my newsletter an example of a way to share verbal appreciation by using the following approach:

(Name), you are very _________ (strength), and that is appreciated because it makes a difference in _________. Thank you!

And, here are some others:

"Thank you, _________(name) for your efforts with ___________________ (task)! You really showed your _________________ (strength), and I appreciate you for that!

OR

Thank you, _________(name) for being so _________________ (strength)! I appreciate it because you _______________________ (difference the person makes)!

Additionally, a toast to one or many people really makes an impression and can show gratitude. An example is:

Thanksgiving is a time for food, people and holiday cheer, so here's to the wonderful dishes we all have prepared, the friends and family who chose to join us, and all the fun conversations and memories we are about to share! I thank you for being here! (Raising glass) Happy Thanksgiving!

Whatever way you show your appreciation, a smile and sincerity are your best assets, and real gratitude cannot be delivered incorrectly, so go ahead, give, give, give!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

APT to Accomplish

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe,
German Playwright, Poet, Novelist and Dramatist. 1749-1832

There are likely a lot of things on your "to-do" list right now...perhaps there seem to consistently be many items listed...

If you want to move from a list to being APT to accomplish what lies ahead, consider these three steps:

A - Assess your items. Review your list or write the list. You are moving things from your mind to a physical place - on paper.

P - Prioritize. Everything is not a top priority, and so some things are "nice to do" activities. Perhaps a 1, 2, 3 or a, b, c categorization will assist you and your team/colleagues in focusing energies.

T - Take action. Without action (and not just the action of thinking about it!!), something is merely a thought or plan, and not something to complete or measure.

Keep in mind that your APTitude is derived in this case from your attitude and your follow-through, so assess, prioritize and take action in order to shift from "to-do" to "already done" this season...and into next year!

3 R's

"People only see what they are prepared to see." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When many of us were growing up, it was the 3 R's that were stressed for success. With Reading , wRiting and aRithmetic as the focus in families, schools and learning, we knew where we stood with grades and feedback (even if we questioned our parents' and teachers' logic with attempting to get us to believe those words were truly R's!).


In business and life outside school, grades and feedback are in different formats. For post-school, I encourage you to consider a new approach to the 3 R's...Risk, Reward and Repercussion. With nearly every situation, every opportunity, every challenge, there is Risk, Reward and Repercussion. How so? If we assess Risk, we know how much we are willing to do or give up to get somewhere. Assessing Risk is what leads to the Reward and Repercussion portions of our decision-making. Rarely is something a neutral outcome. Sure, we can do nothing, but even doing nothing yields changes likely in the long run. So, along with assessing Risk, please review what will be the Reward if the Risk pays off, and also, what will the Repercussions be. It's more fun and engaging to think solely of the outcomes in a positive light, and yet if we are not ready for the possibilities, we too could end up as a statistic of the ill-prepared.


Whether it is something as seemingly small as eating at a new place (Risk=not sure about the food/reputation, Reward=may find a great place at a good price, Repercussion=might not be high quality and may overpay or get sick), or something as big as an expansion (Risk=not known in the area, Reward=grow business, profitability and reach, Repercussion=may be in debt and negatively impact current operations), if you consider the 3 R's before moving forward, you will be in a solid decision-making mindset to expect the best while being prepared for the worst. And after all, isn't that the reason we were supposed to focus on Reading , wRiting and aRithmetic as kids...so we'd be in the best position for our future?

4 Words

"When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." ~ William Shakespeare

There are a lot of words spoken, and sadly, not as much actually said. We celebrate first, second and third places in many events, but not fourth. Often there are times we feel as though we "don't know what to say". Our parents may have raised us to be seen and not heard.

Having shared those 4 thoughts, it may seem strange to encourage you to offer 4 words to someone for whom you want to instill confidence. Sure, sure, those "three little words" are welcomed, too, and are not being discouraged. It's just this approach to uplifting another is a for a varied purpose.

Imagine the difference you might make if instead of silence when you felt awkward or unsure, or asking "what can I do?", you looked the person in the eye and uttered (sincerely, of course) "I believe in you", or "I'm here for you", or "I'm on your side", or "I've got your back", or "I care about you".

What would be different? For the receiver of your message, you might be the only person who shared such a sentiment that day, week, month, etc. Also, your belief, presence, support and care could be what pushes the person to go ahead an act on what she or he is "thinking about doing". For you as the sender of the message, it would be different for you to loan a little of yourself without it costing you anything. You'd get to be a part of consoling, uplifting, encouraging or praising another person...and that's worth being said, being celebrated, being shared, and being heard!

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

Every philosophy is the philosophy of some stage of life."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche, German classical Scholar, Philosopher and Critic of culture, 1844-1900

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

In our lives, there are many stages, learnings and approaches we will take. From a perspective of stages in your learning and living, please consider the following 5 phases, and where you are now...and where you want to be:

Phase 1 - Alive

We don't have a whole lot to do with this one...it's more on our parents to get us here, nonetheless, each of us who is able to read this message is, in fact, alive.

Phase 2 - Survive

A combination of our parents, care-givers and ourselves eventually, we learn what it takes to get by...to survive. This is not much of a desired state, but one where a lot of Americans reside for most or all of their lives.

Phase 3 - Drive

This is where we begin to differentiate what motivates us. It is in this phase where we consciously or unconsciously start to desire things and work toward them. Oddly, some people go through life with little to no drive, and yet those who have it, share it, and act on it are among the "success stories" we love to hear.

Phase 4 - Arrive

In the arrive phase, we are not comfortable, rather pleased with where we are in life. We have accomplished goals, not lost our drive, feel alive, surpass on the survive portion of living, and are in a position to appreciate and reflect on what we are doing and what got us to that phase.

Phase 5 - Thrive

When we move into thrive, we have hit all the others and are moving onto teaching, sharing and giving back to others through our words, actions, investments and interests. In thrive, we are very aware of being alive, all that drives and have not lost sight of the survive and arrive components. We are fully engaged, with little fear, much motivation, and a true yearning to contribute and continue to learn.

While I share these in order, you may find you are in one phase for a portion of your life, say your career, and perhaps another with your finances or career, and that is quite common. Your challenge, your opportunity, should you care to embrace it, is to set your sights on Thrive in all areas and continue to celebrate the wins and successes on your way, and eventually be excited, humble, grateful and reciprocal to others for being there fully!

With appreciation, make the most of each day, and of each phase!

Recognition - Encourage, Praise, Reward

"Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition."
~Abraham Lincoln

A lot of people seek recognition, and a lot of us don't readily "give" recognition. Here is a three step approach to recognition for your consideration in leading yourself and others:

1) Encourage the sharing of ideas and flow of thought openly

2) Praise those who demonstrate the application of learning and taking action on ideas/thoughts

3) Reward based on results

When you are clear and consistent with these three things, your recognition approach is something others will realize, respect, and anticipate.

10 Times the Leadership!

"Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow."
~Chinese Saying~

While there are many lists and ideas about leadership, after speaking with a wonderful and talented client about leading during a one-on-one coaching session, I left and really reflected on what we covered, and consolidated the ideas I shared into my ten (perhaps top 10, and definitely current 10) strengths of an effective leader. The list includes (minimally) the ability to:

Envision - Seeing things for what they are and where they can go.

Observe - Looking at things with little bias and an open mind.

Inquire - Asking of others for input, observations, really listen and hear what is being said for feedback without repercussions to the person.

Care - Wanting to know about the people, the teams, the clients/customer and opportunities earned...and missed.

Cheer - Letting someone know he or she can do it. At times, just taking off the title and being a supportive person.

Coach - Being willing and able to meet people where they are and assist them in getting successfully where they are willing and able to go.

Show & Tell - Demonstrating and informing the team of what is behind, in front of and on the horizon for the company/group, and being willing to lead the way in words and actions. These are forms of effective communication.

Reflect - Making time and take time to consider competition, client desires, team interests and what to make of them and how the wins can be developed, and not just expected or taken.

Grow - Knowing others often have the answers and humility and pride can work hand-in-glove when learning and what serves well is top of mind. Being able to own decisions and seize opportunities for self and others.

Share - Being selfish enough to want the best and selfless enough to let others be a part of it. Knowing there is not just one leader, regardless of titles, and that results, victories and overall success in an effort of more than one. Sharing the opportunities and sharing of yourself by giving back in ways that work for you!

How are you, and your fellow leaders doing on these 10 traits? It's okay, be proud of what you are doing, and hone in on those areas where you'd like to see improvement...after all, you are a life-long learner if you are a true leader of self and others!

Mindedness...Open or Closed?

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are just rearranging their prejudices." ~ William James

There is a funny expression shown on bumper stickers and t-shirts that reads "A mind is like a parachute...it only functions when open", and having been an active skydiver in years past, I was drawn to it for the sport. Once again, in this 4th quarter, with people feeling budget crunches, year-end sales deadlines, and the elections coming, I am reminded of it internally, and now sharing here with you externally for the application of the thought versus the funny of the expression. After all, it's funny because it's true.

Remember, under pressure, we do not do what is right, rather, we do what we know. What do you know to do? Have you learned to be open-minded or closed minded?
A good assessment of how open-minded you are is to reflect on how many times you have said something like "good point, I hadn't considered that" versus the frequency of your saying "you just don't understand". It's the former that keeps us open, and the latter...not so much...


So, remind yourself to say something like "that's interesting, I'll consider it", or other expressions like the one above, and then do it...that is, if you are leaning toward wanting your parachute, or rather you mind, open!!